The frat hound is a much-needed companion for any fraternity house. They become sort of an unofficial mascot. Some hounds are better than others, and, since it’s National Puppy Day, we thought we’d rank the best frat hound breeds.
15. Irish Setter
Much like your pledges, the Irish Setter is very obedient to its master. Truman and Mitt Romney are past owners of these loyal pooches. Beautiful dogs who you can take on a hunt. Not the best, but still pretty awesome.
Vizslas have a fearless, high-energy personality. Think of that one guy in your fraternity who is constantly wanting to do coke and fuck shit up — that’s the Vizsla. It’ll never say no to a challenge, and it’ll stay loyal to its family. Also, its natural hunting instinct will help sniff out poon (probably).
13. Australian Shepherd
The Aussie Shepherd is the quintessential ranch dog. Ranches are frat. Put two and two together here. They will toss the ball with you for hours since they constantly need a job to do. Get one with the blue eyes. Girls dig that shit.
The Siberian Husky is just a hot dog right now. Everyone I know seems to either have one or want one. I, too, am in that boat. Even got a nice litter picked out right here in Austin. It’s great with people due to its wolf-like nature, but will often will attempt to outsmart you and try to escape. That’s just their nature. Get ready for something to be dug under, chewed through, or jumped over. Not a big fan of confinement — just like you.
The Brittany’s name alone screams elitism, but that’s just a nice added touch to everything the Brittany can bring to your house. The Brittany is a no-nonsense hard worker who just wants to please you. It’s hard to find a bloodline in this breed that doesn’t have exceptional hunting skills, either.
10. Boykin Spaniel
Will DeFries put in the call for the Boykin to be on the list due to its ability to hunt turkey. He’s all in on them right now, and I can see why. Unlike you and I in bed, these dogs have great endurance and can run for hours, so you’ll have to be able to take ’em out to toss some bumpers or some shit.
9. Border Collie
The Border Collie might be the smartest breed in the dog world. Just a bunch of geniuses running around outsmarting not only you, but the girls around you. They do require a bunch of attention and, if you can’t give it to them, they could develop some neurotic behaviors — much like your typical sorority girl.
8. German Shepherd
German Shepherds are extraordinarily intelligent and extremely resilient. Their protective nature means that you need to train these bad boys correctly. If you don’t, then you might be left with a rowdy and reckless dog who sends people to the hospital — not necessarily a bad thing when trying to keep that one loser out of your party.
7. Great Dane
The Great Dane is synonymous with luxury. In fact, when it was still known as the Englische Dogge, they were very rare because they were known for being a hobby dog and were a luxury. In addition to being luxurious, the Dane is a very devoted dog who will give off an imposing image to anyone trying to encroach on your territory due to their sheer size. They also have some hunting dog background from back when they were hunting bears, boar, and deer. The Dane would hold down the beasts while the hunter killed it.
6. Bluetick Hound
Ahh, the Coonhound. My first encounter with these was reading Where The Red Fern Grows. I could tell how awesome they were just by reading about them. The University of Tennessee recognized their greatness and made a Bluetick their mascot. Unlike a lot of breeds, the Bluetick originated here in the U.S. of A and is known for it’s friendly instincts and howl.
5. Bassett Hound
Bassett Hounds are chill as fuck. They aren’t going to blow you away by wanting to always play or needing attention. They will just straight up plop on the couch and watch some sports with you. You need that in your house sometimes.
4. Golden Retriever
If you’re looking for a duck dog, then the Golden is a safe pick for you. The Golden may be sort of a vanilla pick when it comes to the frat hound, but don’t let that fool you. It still is among the elite when it comes to the frat hounds. Lovable dogs who will always be by your side and are never depressed.
3. German Shorthaired Pointer
The German Shorthaired Pointer is one of the most popular breeds in America due to its friendly nature. The German Shorthair is intelligent, bold, boisterous, and eccentric while also being cooperative and easily trained; this makes it the perfect companion for your fraternity house. Just gotta give it some attention, though, or it could tear shit up. The GSP is an excellent hunter and can sniff out almost anything, so if your house is about to be inspected, he’ll be able to locate that lost baggie of weed.
2. Black Lab
The lab is the most popular choice amongst the fraternity men of the world. It’s great at hunting, great at being a friendly-ass dog, and it’s great with the ladies. What more could you want in a dog? Only bad thing about the lab is that literally everyone has one, so you’re really just doing what everyone else is doing.
1. Flat Coat Retriever
A lot of people will claim that the Black Lab is the frattest. Others will claim that the Golden Retriever should hold that honor. The Flat Coat? It’s essentially a black Golden. You get the best of both worlds. The Flat Coat is extremely loyal, smart, and is a great hunting dog. Plus they are a hit with the ladies. That face in the picture? Yeah, I couldn’t walk 10 yards on Katy Trail without some girl wanting to meet Merlin. Ultimate wing man..