Trying to spice up your sex life? Hopefully not, because you’re still probably in your early 20s or late teens and shouldn’t have to yet.
If the thought of standard sex already bores you and you want to add an element of excitement to it, be careful. It can go really wrong — really fast.
The good people on Reddit dot com described, anonymously, of course, the sexual fetishes they tried that went horribly wrong. If there was a tag more explicit than NSFW, I’d have attached it to this story.
Pop Rocks blowjob when I was younger. Take my advice, don’t do it. It feels like your dick is navigating poorly through an asteroid field.
A Pop Rocks Blowjob™: When a normal blowjob, for some reason, isn’t enough.
Butt play with a vibrator that was too small and it got stuck up inside her. She had to sit on the stool, push like she going no 2, and I had to use my fingers to pull it out. She was in near hysterics yelling “I don’t want to have to go to the emergency room!!!”. I was able to calm her down a bit and she finally was able to release it. I was trying hard not to laugh but I did. She was mad but eventually forgave me.
“Honey, I accidentally stuck the vibrator too far in.”
My birthday was this last weekend. My wife of 7 years finally said I could ram her bum. I was so excited I came in about 10 seconds. She started laughing and said, “wrong hole”.
“Ram her bum.”
Spanking. He got me to count out loud as he was doing them. My brain then thought it was hilarious to start doing so in a Count Von Count fashion. ‘One spank, ah ha ha’….
This is my favorite one.
Not a fetish but it did go horribly wrong…
Had a girlfriend who had a serious gag reflex and couldn’t stand cumming in her mouth. But bless her heart she always wanted to try and make things work.
So she says “tonight is the night” and starts going down on me. I come and at that moment I look down and see “the look” on her face. She tried to swallow but half a second later she proceed to throw up violently all over me.
I am sitting there covered nuts to face in a mix of puke and cum.
We beelined for the shower and she apologized profusely and cleaned me up when the giggles began. There we were in a tiny shower laughing our asses off.
She dates women now, but she was a total trooper.
A for effort, F for execution.
She told me that getting head from a girl with mints in her mouth was just heaven, so we gave it a go. But she didn’t have any mints. Or any mint chewing gum, or chewing gum at all. What she did have though, was those melt in your mouth strips that come from Wrigleys, and the like. Buuut, it wasn’t mint, but Big Red cinnamon. Okay, whatever, same diff, right?
Possibly, but we didn’t get to find out. Turns out you have to let those suckers really melt on your tongue, and swish them around your mouth with some saliva to get them going.
She just threw it in to her gob, and went to town on me.The entire strip just came out of her mouth, and landed on the head of my wang, and started melting away there.
Jesus Suffering Fuck, it was as if it was one of those chemical self fire starter things, out to start the next Fire of London. I leapt off of the bed, kneeing her in the jaw in the process, out in to the adjacent kitchen, and got my dick in to the closest source of water, which turned out to be dirty dish water, in a pint glass. Picked it up, lowered it down, and raised it up to dunk my dick in it. Fuck, that hurt. I also had to reach in, and peel the decaying strip off of my glans, as it was still there and wouldn’t just fall away in to the water.
Only then, naked, heaving and covered in panic-sweat, did I shudderingly acknowledge and apologise to the two other girls sitting at the kitchen table drinking wine
Wait, no. THIS is my favorite one.
Making mad, passionate love in a swimming pool….which is ironically very dry.
Swimming pool/hot tub sex is so fucking overrated it’s absurd people still try it.
A glory hole thing with my ex boyfriend, it was fun, we were at some shady adult store and it was extremely hot until he let out a sound like the devil had just stuck a red hot poker up his butt.
I guess while he was banging me through the hole the corner of it had a stray splinter and it dug into his dick. This wasn’t just any splinter, it looked as if a piece of the wood had cracked and it was a 1 inch long shard.
I drove him home and nursed him back to health by removing the splinter and cleaning his wound while listening to his cursing all evening.
Gotta make sure someone sanded the glory hole before you go in head first.
Back when I was a horny teen around easter I got my boyfriend to put a Cadbury’s creme egg up my vagina. I have no idea why or how it came about but it happened. The problem is that moments after it was up there it started melting. Chocolate and fondant everywhere. We panicked and started to try and scoop it out. It hurt alot. After trying to figure out how to deal with the situation there was a knock on the door my mother. I walked past her like a duck and took the most painful bath ever leaving my boyfriend at the time mortified. Would never do again.
Best Easter ever.
Not really a fetish, I don’t think? Boyfriend wanted to try and go down on me in the shower. He’s about 30 seconds in and starts coughing and choking bad. He basically almost drowned in the shower, while going down on me. I told him if he had died, we could have put on his gravestone: Died drowning in pussy.
Waterboarded in pussy.
Girl wanted to do the awesome thing where they wake you up with a blowjob. She wanted to deepthroat it. I woke up to sounds of gagging and then 2 seconds later a crotch full of vomit.
It’s the thought that counts.
I tried to spank my girlfriend’s ass while she was on top and ended up smacking myself in the nuts.
3/10 don’t recommend.
That sounds more like user error.
A few years ago, I began watching a lot of anal porn. I was a little hesitant about trying it, but it looked hot, especially when it came to women using sex toys on their pussies while a guy pounded away at her arse. I was curious and wanted to try it. I was in a long distance relationship at the time, so we talked about it in preparation for the next visit; I had a shiny new butt plug and a plethora of lube ready to go.
Unlike porn, it wasn’t quite as straightforward. I underestimated the results. We went at it for a bit and it felt good; he finished and I went to clean myself up.
I was unprepared for the marching band of cum farts that emitted from my newly discovered sweet spot. This was before we were fully comfortable letting rip in front of each other, so imagine the horror on my face when I realise that he can hear this roaring beast from the next room. The farts alone I might have been okay with, but the splattering detonation of semen made it sound like there was some explosive diarrhoea going on. We ended up laughing about it, but at the time, it was terrible.
Still wouldn’t stop me from trying anal again though.
69… She had a piece of shit stuck in her asshole hair
Texted my girlfriend in the morning to blindfold herself and be naked in the living room on her knees waiting for me when I got home. Forgot about it by the end of the day (and it wouldn’t be unusual that she’d ignore my suggestion anyways).
Ran into the neighbor on my way into the appartment building. “Sure come on up and I’ll give you back that DVD I borrowed”
Was a little embarrassing for everyone
How the fuck did you forget about that?
TRIGGER WARNING, TRIGGER WARNING, TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS NEXT ONE:
This is one of my best friends story: He is a younger guy, just a few years out of college. He had just moved to a new city and was randomly introduced to an attractive older woman at a mutual friends party. At that point, he assumed that she was in her late 20’s or early 30’s. They end up hooking up later on that night. The next morning he finds out that she is actually 39. They hang out for a few weeks and she even invites him and his friends to her 40th birthday party. One night she asks if he wants to try something new and he agrees despite the fact that she won’t tell him because she wants it to be a surprise. Anyway, she starts blowing him and he keeps waiting for the new surprise. He cums into her mouth and she immediately looks up and smiles, leans in to kiss him and straight up spits his own load into his unexpecting mouth. He said he was so shocked/horrified he didn’t know what to do. Before he knew it, he had regretfully swallowed his own load and sat there with a defeated look on his face. They stopped seeing each other after that…
FUCK. FUCKING FUCK.
You just can’t stop this guy.
Ex said she was into things getting rough. I was more than happy to oblige. Started going to town in different positions, little choking, anyways things were going great. Then I bend her over and start going pretty hard in doggy style. All of a sudden, I hear sobbing and immediately stop. Damage control time. I calm her down and she proceeds, for the first time, to let me know that she was raped. And I went so hard that i sent her into a flashback.
Nope. Didnt finish
I just.. I just can’t. Reading these have become the burden of my life.
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