Revolutionary Swiss Study Determines Beer Makes You Social and Horny

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Stop the presses, folks. Once again Europe is bringing us some breaking news that is sure to change how we look at existence entirely. This time, the same country that brought us absinthe, Velcro, and the Swiss Army knife are behind the scientific breakthrough of the century. Switzerland’s finest have finally gotten down to the nitty-gritty about whether or not beer makes you more sociable.

From BBC:

The team from University Hospital in Basel tested 60 healthy people, with an equal number of men and women drinking alcoholic and non-alcoholic beer. They took part in a range of tasks, including a face recognition test, empathy test and sexual arousal test. The lead researcher said there had been little previous research in this area.

Prof Matthias Liechti explained: “Although many people drink beer and know its effects through personal experience there is surprisingly little scientific data on its effects on the processing of emotional social information.”
The desire to be with others, in a happy, talkative and open environment increased in the group which drank the alcoholic beer and was more marked in women and those with higher initial inhibitions.

As well as enabling the participants to recognise happy faces more quickly, the beer also enhanced participants’ emotional empathy, particularly in those with lower levels of initial empathy. Participants were also shown pictures of explicit sexual content.

After drinking non-alcoholic beer, participants rated them as less pleasant than neutral pictures – but they were rated as more pleasant by those who drank alcoholic beer. This was most marked in the women participants, but researches found it did not actually enhance sexual arousal.

Groundbreaking stuff. Not only does a little bit of beer make you less of a sociopathic asshole, it also makes everyone down to look at some porn.

Just like with their invention of the bobsled, the Swiss are turning the world upside down. Did you know bobsledding is one of the most dangerous sports on the planet? I sure as hell didn’t, but that’s what happens when you let a bunch of snow crazies play with a science set.

The real question here is this: Why don’t we have fun experiments like this in the States? While we’re testing cosmetics and boner pills on bunny rabbits, the Swiss are just throwing porn parties and getting boozed up in the name of science. We all know how to have a good time, so let’s start moving towards studies that involve less mice-blinding and more orgies. As soon as the geniuses at companies like Monsanto and SpaceX embrace good old American hedonism, the sooner we’ll start making some real breakthroughs.

[via BBC]

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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