It is a well documented fact that Rex Ryan likes feet stuff. It gets him hot. He wants all the little piggies to go down to his market, and by market I mean schlong.
But if Rex Ryan’s sexual appetite is anything like his
actual former appetite, feet aren’t the only thing on the menu. In fact, there’s also a good chance he and his wife like to swing every now and then, but hopefully not with Antonio Cromartie and his super jizz. Another Cromartie lovechild would make for an awkward situation, but can you imagine a Cromartie child raised by Rex Ryan? That kid might turn into an all-time great football player, or the world’s most notorious sex addict, or both.
It does appear, however, that the Ryans might not mind spicing up their love life with a little Latin heat.
Mark Sanchez, meet your sexual nightmare. Of course it’s his nightmare because Sanchez doesn’t like banging out chicks over the age of seventeen…plus Rex Ryan’s penis is involved.
At this point, the New York Jets have to be considered the most fucked up team in the history of the NFL, perhaps football in general, right? Forget the ’90’s Cowboys. Forget the bad boy Miami Hurricanes, or really any team Michael Irvin ever played on, the Jets have that spot locked up.
Not only are these New York Jets one of the most hilariously inept football teams of all time, but they are easily the most sexually corrupted and confused as well. Look at the evidence:
– Rex Ryan and his wife probably swing.
– Rex Ryan has a tattoo of his wife wearing nothing but a Mark Sanchez jersey.
– Mark Sanchez bangs out 17 year olds.
– Mark Sanchez also bangs out the celebrity sloppy seconds of other athletes (which is somehow the most normal thing on this list).
– Tim Tebow and his virginity.
It’s a miracle there was ever any time to focus on football, what with all the feet, swinging, over/underused penises, underage lovers, celebrity sloppy seconds, and legion of bastards.
J-E-T-S, Jesus titty-fucking Christ.
[via Yahoo! Sports]
h/t to @smugpeddler