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Rich Texas Asshole Drunk Drives $385,000 Limited Production Ferrari Off Cliff

This one hits close to home, as in this Ferrari literally hit a bunch of trees and shrubbery 3.1 miles from where I’m currently seated here at TFM HQ. I’ll let the brave men and women of the Austin Fire Department take it from here.

From Austin Fire Department:

So, what happens when you try to make your limited production, $385,000 2015 Ferrari fly? Nothing good. Several of our B-shift crews were called to the scene of a single vehicle collision last Friday night, January 13. A witness stated that the vehicle was traveling more than 100 mph as it passed over the bridge on Red Bud Trail headed toward Westlake Drive. The vehicle failed to make the first turn (no surprise there) and continued straight into the woods. It then went airborne for 40 feet, flipped over in the air, and landed facing the way it went in, but on its side, down a 40-foot ravine.

Amazingly, the three occupants in the vehicle suffered only minor injuries; however, the driver was later arrested for driving under the influence. #docneedsaferrari #thisisnotferrisbuellersdayoff

(Photo credit: AFD Battalion Chief David Brietzke)

Below are the full photos from the accident/crime scene:

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This story doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Austin’s full of rich tech nerds who overcompensate for twenty something years of social awkwardness and misery by purchasing lavish $150,000+ European sports cars. They’re everywhere. Combine that with these geeks’ inability to handle alcohol (thanks, in large part, to that twenty something years of social awkwardness and misery) and decision-making skills that, for some reason, don’t leave their monitor-filled coding rooms at IBM, AMD, Dell, etc., and you have a recipe for this exact scenario to go down. I’m honestly surprised it doesn’t happen more.

I’ve taken the exact turn at which this crash occurred numerous times in my ’08 Nissan Sentra SL and had no problems. Sure, the 0.3 mile straightaway leading up to it probably is too short for my “0-60 in 14.6 seconds” SentSent to crank up to 100 mph, but as any driver of a premium car (Ferrari, Maserati, BMW, Nissan) knows, if you can’t handle the horses under the hood, don’t get behind the wheel.

The saddest part of this story? That the drunk driving asshole walked away with only minor injuries. At least give us a couple broken wrists to work with so there’s a lesson for this douche to learn.

[via Austin Fire Department]

Images via Austin Fire Department

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

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