‘Rubbing Toothpaste On My Dick,’ ‘Banging My Step Sister,’ And Other Sexual Regrets People Admitted Online

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Nice Move

I did my daily comb through of the TFM comment section today and noticed a lot of you were “talking trash” about your boy Steve Holt. Most of the complaints revolved around how “bad of a writer he was” and how he “copies and pastes everything he posts from Reddit.”

Well, fine. If you guys are sick and tired of Reddit stories, than I’m done posting them.

…After this.

A few internet sexperts (sexual experts) revealed some of the dumb shit they’ve done in the sack. This has the potential to give you some serious secondhand embarrassment, cringefits or, if you are a disgusting sexual deviant, perhaps a half-to-full chub. Come join me in the content barracks, you voyeuristic pervs.

From Reddit:

Rubbing toothpaste on my penis when I was a kid. Thought I was going to die.

At least your dick was cavity-free.

Last night when I tried anal with my girlfriend. Did. Not. Go. Well.

Tears aren’t sexy, and neither is the sad kind of cuddling

Tears and sad cuddling? How bad did it go??

Sleeping with my ex after we broke up. Months of her stalking me ensues.

Being stalked is kind of awesome.

I lost my virginity to someone who turned out to probably be related to me.

Was she hot tho?

Banging my step sister.

Unethical? Sure. Immoral? No question. Incestuous? Absolutely not.

I had a friend about 20 years ago who told me that when he was 16 his dad remarried. His new step sister was the same age as him and their parents were so wrapped up in their own shit they basically neglected them for weeks on end. They ended up fooling around out of boredom, then having sex. They got caught and sent to all sorts of counseling. He said they were telling him he was a preditor and shit. He was like “Dude, she wasn’t really related to me, it’s such shit”

I tend to agree. Leaving 2 16yr olds alone, with no adult supervision, is a terrible idea. They are not really brother and sister, they have no natural instinct to avoid sex with each other. You should feel no shame.

See above.

A couple years back I discovered my girlfriend at the time was cheating on me. I confronted her, and we broke up, but it wrecked me. I was all over the place.
She convinced me to go over one night, and I was so depressed I just wanted to get back to normal, and stupidly thought somehow we could get back together.
Anyway, things escalated. Bad decisions were made, and we started having sex. The sex itself was pretty standard, considering the situation, until at one point, just as I was about to finish, I noticed several hickies/lovebites on her neck and shoulder that I hadn’t given her.
That one really hurt. And took a while to get over.


Banging my ex’s mom. Said mom was single and had been drinking, and decided that this was her chance to be really horny and seduce me.
I had been drinking and i needed absolutely no encouragement to bang someone who looked like a clone of my then-girlfriend but with bigger tits.
The sex was fine, and my ex never figured out. It’s just weird that her mom still texts me when she’s lonely.

…It’s even weirder that you don’t respond.

Letting my best friend at the time convince me to sleep with his wife while he watches.

Steve Holt Supports Cuckolding

I lost my virginity to the same person that took my identical twin brother’s virginity the evening before in Mexico at an all inclusive resort. I didn’t know, and she tried to hook up with him again the next night, he turned her down, and she came after me. That was an awkward next morning. At least she has a crazy sex story to tell people… How many people can say that they took a pair of twins’ virginities?

This would be awesome if the genders/sexes were reversed.

That the girl I lost my virginity to doesn’t know I was a virgin. I was embarassed about it so I lied.

Dude. She probably knew.

A girl I was sleeping with stayed over at my place, her friend stayed too due to drinking. They slept in my bed and invited me in, I said I would sleep on the floor so they’d have room to sleep. I hate myself.


An ex-girlfriend invited another couple over to have a four-way. Except, it was a threesome because I wasn’t in town at the time.


Banging my friend’s sister.

We’re still friends, best friends even, but his mom hates the shit out of me.

If you have a “I banged my friend’s sister” story, please leave it in the comments.

I stuck a eyeliner applicator in my dickhole

But…wait, what?

A girl invited me over for a blow job but I said I was sick so I could stay home and watch the Chappelle show.

Was it a good episode at least?

Not going further with my roommate years ago. We got drunk and made out a couple of times (we’re both girls) and could have gone further but I had my period. She started being hot and cold with me so I kept myself in check around her. Even the night she summoned me into our bathroom after she had just had a bath and asked me to help shave her pussy. I did, blew the hairs off and then walked out. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Asked me to help shave her pussy.”

Most likely sleeping with other people without protection.
Am now recently diagnosed HIV+

Ah, shit. Buzzkill.

hooking up with this guy. he starts going down on me then comes up and starts jackhammering fingering me he then looks at my vagina while yelling like an army sergeant saying “GET WET! GET. WET!” and i just looked at him with the most confused look while i slowly closed my legs and get dressed then just ran and never spoke to him again.

Jackhammer Fingering™

Met a girl known as “Quickie Nicki”

She came over to “study”

I tutored the shit out of her…couldn’t understand why she looked so disappointed. Finally after studying, I made my move, we kissed, but she was so tired from studying, she just wanted to go home. She told my friend she totally wanted to f&#^ me, but didn’t know I was so into studying.


To read more of this thread or any of the replies, click HERE.

[via Reddit]


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