Russell Wilson To Deliver 2016 Commencement Speech At Wisconsin Because I Guess They’re Running Out Of Alumni

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Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson has been tapped by the University of Wisconsin administration as the 2016 commencement speaker, because I guess UW is running out of famous alumni or everyone is busy that weekend.

Wilson, who is a Super Bowl champion, didn’t even really attend Wisconsin. He earned an undergraduate degree at N.C. State before transferring to Wisconsin for his final year of eligibility. Why is that enough to earn the 27-year-old a 20-minute time slot to lecture a bunch of 22-year-olds about life? I don’t know. I mean, if they are this far down the list it was only a matter of time before they called DeVry Guy.


Russell Wilson will return to Camp Randall Stadium this spring, when he delivers the commencement address to UW-Madison’s class of 2016.

Wilson led the Badgers to a Big Ten championship and Rose Bowl appearance during his only season with the team in 2011, then won a Super Bowl with the Seattle Seahawks in 2014.

He was announced as the speaker in a video posted Wednesday afternoon.

“It’s an honor to be the 2016 spring commencement speaker,” Wilson said in the video. “I’m looking forward to it.”

What is he going to talk about? His four months in Madison? His divorce? How his success is entirely dependent on the work of other people? Gah, this whole thing is a big crock of shit. At least let Dean Strang or Steven Avery take a swing at it, first.

I know no one gives a fuck about commencement speakers; I’m just pissed Wilson is going to get paid like $40,000 to tell everyone the key to success in life is to Drink Lots Of Gatorade. A bill, mind you, that will be footed by the good taxpayers of Wisconsin — the South Carolina of the midwest.

I guess we no longer have commencement speaker standards. It’s all about celebrities now. Whatever. I guess I will capitalize on my celebrity by accepting any and all invitations to give a commencement speech this year.


Image via YouTube


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