Russian Man Drinks Until He’s Declared Dead And Taken To Morgue, Wakes Up And Returns To Party To Keep Drinking

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Russian Man Drinks So Much He's Declared Dead And Brought To Morgue, Returns To Party And Keeps Drinking

Everyone has that one friend who is known for passing out early during a night of drinking only to recover and rally to drink more later on. Some people just need a little power nap to get back into the swing of things. While this may be somewhat of a norm for a few of you, a man in Russia recently took the pass out and rally game to a whole new fucking level.

He died, came back to life, and continued drink. Only in fucking Russia, guys.

This guy was partying with his boys, throwing back shots, and having what I can only assume was a great fucking time. They were in the middle of nowhere in the barren and cold far eastern portion of Russia, where I assume there isn’t jack shit to do besides get hammered.

At some point, after downing more shots than his body could take, the dude passed out. Worried about their friend’s health and safety, the extremely intoxicated man’s drinking buddies called an ambulance. Good friends.

Upon arrival, the paramedics examined the man, declared him dead, and took him to the morgue. This is where things got interesting. The morgue, for whatever reason (I don’t know what kind of crazy shit goes on in rural Russia), was particularly full that night. So full, in fact, bodies were being kept on the floor of the freezer. Again, only in fucking Russia.

At some point, our hero woke up in a freezer full of dead people, drunk and confused, and he wanted out. He drunkenly stumbled his way over to the staff of the morgue, who I can only assume were scared shitless. Then again, maybe this kind of thing happens a lot in Russia — I don’t know.

Obviously very confused, the man had a difficult time understanding where he was or what happened because, you know, he was shithoused drunk. If you’re ever so drunk that medical professionals think you’re dead, you’re probably pretty fucking drunk.

After being questioned by the cops, the man went back to the party he “died” at, only to find that all his friends were still there and still drinking. Only now, they were drinking in his memory.

Once he explained what happened to his shocked and relieved friends, the wake turned into a “re-birthday party,” which is arguably the best way to celebrate coming back from the dead.

Obviously, the dude didn’t actually die. If anything, he was so drunk that his pulse was weak and his breathing was slow, so the medics weren’t really able to tell he was still alive. Still, even though he probably didn’t legitimately die, he spent some time in a morgue. I’ll give him this one. He’s allowed to tell people that he died and came back to life any time he’s trying to bum a drink at the bar.

This guy’s got some good friends, too. Their buddy “died” in front of him and what do they do? Mourn? Go to church? Tell the dude’s family and comfort them? Hell no. They stay at the same spot, keep drinking, and toast to him. That’s friendship.

[via Mirror]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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