Science Says Inhaling Farts Helps You Live Longer

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Next time your boy rips ass in your vicinity, don’t get pissed. Thank him. In fact, you should probably stick your face in his crack and inhale the rank fumes of nurturing. As it turns out, farts are great for your health, and sniffing them on the reg can make you live longer.

A recent study found that when we inhale a fresh cheeser, our cells absorb hydrogen sulfide — a necessity for a cell to survive disease. The study found significant benefits for the person releasing the cornhole tremor as well. Farting relieves inflammation, which can reduce the possibility of dementia.

Here are all the juicy scientific deets, from The Herald:

Professor Matt Whiteman from University of Exeter’s medical school said: “When cells become stressed by disease, they draw in enzymes to generate minute quantities of hydrogen sulfide.

“This keeps the mitochondria ticking over and allows cells to live. If this doesn’t happen, the cells die and lose the ability to regulate survival and control inflammation.

“We have exploited this natural process by making a compound, called AP39, which slowly delivers very small amounts of this gas specifically to the mitochondria.

“Our results indicate that if stressed cells are treated with AP39, mitochondria are protected and cells stay alive.”

Fellow researcher Dr. Mark Wood, who was also involved in the 2014 study, added: “Although hydrogen sulfide is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases.”

Wow. Taint ticklers “could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases.” This is the future of modern science, people. And with Chipotles opening up on every corner across the world, scientists should have no problem finding buttholes to experiment on.

Explorers have been searching for the Fountain of Youth for thousands of years. Who knew we’ve been sitting on it the whole time?

[via The Herald]

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