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Science Says Watching Too Much Porn Makes You Terrible At Sex

porn bad sex

When I first heard this story about porn turning dudes into terrible lays, I assumed it was due to the unwanted over-prevalence of guys incorporating porn moves into their sexual repertoire. News flash: Girls don’t like being jackhammered. In fact, most girls would prefer being eviscerated by an actual jackhammer to having your pudgy, grunting body standing over them while you’re thrusting your hips like you’re dancing to “Jump On It.”

While that is definitely the case, it’s not what noted fact-giver “science” recently discovered. What science found was that dudes who JO to porn on the reg tend to get whiskey dick without even drinking any whiskey.

From Independent:

A masculinity expert says he fears heavy internet porn usage may have left up to one in 10 young men with erection problems.

Dr Andrew Smiler said that easy access to endless streaming porn is leaving healthy young men with the sexual problem.

“If I’m 17 and that is 90% of my sexual orgasmic experience, then I’ve put a lot of effort into that particular variety/flavour of sexual development but I’ve put in very little time developing my sexuality with another person, so it makes it more challenging to become aroused to another person and you find yourself in this other direction which is often very different to sex with a person.”

So the two things that can lead to whiskey dick are drinking whiskey and watching porn? This has just changed my stance on whiskey dick completely. No longer will I consider those who suffer from whiskey dick to be impotent cucks. Whiskey dick sufferers are clearly cool-ass dudes who engage in cool-ass activities.

Luckily for cool-ass dudes who drink whiskey and fuck their own hands, there is a cure.

Dr Angela Gregory, psychosexual therapist at Nottingham University Hospital, said: “Men are becoming both physically and psychologically desensitised to normal sexual stimulation and arousal with a sexual partner.”

Fortunately, porn-induced erectile dysfunction is fixable, most easily if you’re a healthy young male: “If you can stop [masturbating], you can reboot your system to normal arousal,” Gregory explains.

If you quit watching porn because of a little whiskey dick and the fact that girls are repulsed by your floppy, flaccid member, you aren’t a true porn fan. I bet you can’t even name porn’s first two albums, you hard-dick pussy. Have some loyalty to the girl(s) who have always been there for you.

[via Independent]

Image via Shutterstock

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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