Scientists FINALLY Figure Out What Dinosaurs Having Sex Looked Like, Cancer Still Not Cured (Video)

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It’s comforting to know that I apparently wasn’t the only one disappointed by the fact that there were no sex scenes in Jurassic Park. This is how I would imagine a Jurassic Park sex scene playing out.


What? You really think I wanted to see Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern humping? Fuck no! I wanted to see two T-Rex’s going to pound town on each other with that giant dino-boner at full mast and their little arms flailing with pleasure. The whole nine yards. Thankfully, now that science has FINALLY figured out just exactly how T-Rex’s and all manner of other dinosaurs looked whilst dino-boning, and because a Jurassic Park IV is in the works, my dreams may come true. I mean, one of the key plot points of Jurassic Park was that the dinosaurs figured out how to mate in the wild, so it’s only fitting that they show a couple Triceratops getting freaky. Do you think there’s horn play involved when they bang? What do rhinos do? (*Sighs*) It’s so amazing what we can learn about the past just by looking at the present, you guys.

Anyway here’s a bunch of pictures and videos of dinosaurs fucking, because why not? It’s, uh, educational.

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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