As if you needed more proof (ha!) that America is better than all of Europe, here’s some extra salt to pour into those red coats’ wounds: Jack Daniel’s is now the most popular whiskey to drink in the UK.
That’s right, those British mouthbreathers have finally weaned themselves off Scotch from their beloved Scotland and are reaching for American-made Jack Daniel’s more often than not.
From The Telegraph:
The trade magazine, The Grocer, said that the Tennessee-made spirit had usurped The Famous Grouse as the UK’s most popular whisky after its sales surged by 9.3 per cent in the last year.
This coincided with a 4.4 per cent slump in sales of the six leading blended Scotches, with sales of The Famous Grouse alone plummeting by 14.9 per cent.
The trend is thought to be fuelled by younger drinkers who identify more closely with American brands, as well as efforts by retailers to promote bourbons and US whiskeys ahead of their Scotch counterparts, because they more profitable.
You guys should see how much fun this shit is to drink on the Fourth of July. Ah, that’s right. Sensitive topic. Sorry.
Most of the surge is being attributed to younger drinkers straying away from what their parents drink. And who can blame them? Who wants to drink a scotch whose mascot is a bird that looks like a turkey banged a chicken? Nobody.
You know what the mascot of Jack Daniel’s is? Whatever the fuck you want it to be, because this is America and we have that damn freedom.
Maybe that’s not even the main reason. Maybe it’s because The Famous Grouse people are just plain weirdos. Here’s the latest thing uploaded to the company’s YouTube page:
Really makes you think about slamming some scotch, eh? Makes you wanna drink the pain away even more.
Look — if there’s one thing Europeans are good at, it’s drinking. They’re also decent at soccer too, but that doesn’t matter because sports where grown men dive and cry when they’re barely touched aren’t real sports. Yeah, your sport is treading on thin ice, LeBron James.
Still, the Brits know good alcohol when they see it.
So well done, Britain. It’s about time you came around. Now, if only you’ll admit democracy is better than being governed by a frail old woman and a tiny baby, then I think we can really start to be something.
Until then, enjoy the whiskey but don’t ask us for any favors. We’re busy. We have syllabus week to prepare for..
[via The Telegraph]
Image via Jack Daniels