As if the past seven BCS National Championships, nine 2012 1st round NFL Draft picks, the best tailgating in the country, and the disdain of the rest of America wasn’t enough, SEC fans have yet another achievement to throw in the faces of their haters. What a bunch of greedballs.
With help from pollsters at Rasmussen Reports, Discover has proclaimed the schools of the Southeastern Conference as having the most diehard fans in college football.
We’re hungry over here, SEC. The least you could do is toss us some scraps from the dinner table. Syracuse and Washington State are starting to look like Sarah McLachlan kids. Purdue is considering robbing train engineers just to feed its starving family of nerds. Kansas is on suicide watch. Boise State is hobbling around on a crutch like Tiny Tim.
Let’s just get to how Discover determined its findings before the impending rain of S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! chants flood a major east coast city.
Over the course of 14 weeks this fall, researchers asked college football fans about their favorite teams, and the role the game plays in their lives. SEC fans came in first across all four of the major factors that Discover used to measure the strength of their super fandom:
* SEC fans told researchers that they found it “somewhat or very important” to watch their favorite team play each week, beating out fans of independent teams and members of the Big 12.
* SEC fans also said they follow their teams closely, even during bad seasons.
* Friends and family members know who SEC fans’ favorite teams are, with Big Ten fans coming in second.
* While Big Ten and ACC team supporters love to wear school colors, SEC fans told researchers that they wear team apparel and other items more than any other group of college football fans in the country.
Wait, Discover and Rasmussen Reports based this decision solely on what essentially amounts to a self-fellating questionnaire? Seems legit.
As a charter member of the SEC, it’s no wonder that Auburn placed first among schools when Rasmussen and Discovers rank teams individually. The top five groups of super fans follow:
Considering the otherwise lack of civilization where their fan bases take residence (excluding Wisky), I’m not all that surprised about how the top five panned out. I am, however, a little taken aback by Auburn coming out on top. I wouldn’t have even pegged them to be the best fans in their own state. Tiger fans couldn’t even protect the Oaks at Toomer’s Corner from a War Damn Redneck Tree Holocaust. Then again, I suppose Nick Saban has to throw out the occasional bone to the Crimson Tide’s archrival in between 49-0 Iron Bowl beat downs — you know, before Kristen Saban finds out about his act of charity, sprays on a Samoan tan, and starts fucking with Manti Te’o’s yearning heart out of spite again.
Did Discover get it right? What do you guys think?
[via Fox Business]
Image via Bleacher Report