SEC Fans Named Most Loyal In College Football, Auburn #1 Overall

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As if the past seven BCS National Championships, nine 2012 1st round NFL Draft picks, the best tailgating in the country, and the disdain of the rest of America wasn’t enough, SEC fans have yet another achievement to throw in the faces of their haters. What a bunch of greedballs.

With help from pollsters at Rasmussen Reports, Discover has proclaimed the schools of the Southeastern Conference as having the most diehard fans in college football.

We’re hungry over here, SEC. The least you could do is toss us some scraps from the dinner table. Syracuse and Washington State are starting to look like Sarah McLachlan kids. Purdue is considering robbing train engineers just to feed its starving family of nerds. Kansas is on suicide watch. Boise State is hobbling around on a crutch like Tiny Tim.

Let’s just get to how Discover determined its findings before the impending rain of S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! chants flood a major east coast city.

Over the course of 14 weeks this fall, researchers asked college football fans about their favorite teams, and the role the game plays in their lives. SEC fans came in first across all four of the major factors that Discover used to measure the strength of their super fandom:

* SEC fans told researchers that they found it “somewhat or very important” to watch their favorite team play each week, beating out fans of independent teams and members of the Big 12.

* SEC fans also said they follow their teams closely, even during bad seasons.

* Friends and family members know who SEC fans’ favorite teams are, with Big Ten fans coming in second.

* While Big Ten and ACC team supporters love to wear school colors, SEC fans told researchers that they wear team apparel and other items more than any other group of college football fans in the country.

Wait, Discover and Rasmussen Reports based this decision solely on what essentially amounts to a self-fellating questionnaire? Seems legit.

As a charter member of the SEC, it’s no wonder that Auburn placed first among schools when Rasmussen and Discovers rank teams individually. The top five groups of super fans follow:

1.Auburn
2.Nebraska
3.West Virginia
4.Wisconsin
5.Iowa

Considering the otherwise lack of civilization where their fan bases take residence (excluding Wisky), I’m not all that surprised about how the top five panned out. I am, however, a little taken aback by Auburn coming out on top. I wouldn’t have even pegged them to be the best fans in their own state. Tiger fans couldn’t even protect the Oaks at Toomer’s Corner from a War Damn Redneck Tree Holocaust. Then again, I suppose Nick Saban has to throw out the occasional bone to the Crimson Tide’s archrival in between 49-0 Iron Bowl beat downs — you know, before Kristen Saban finds out about his act of charity, sprays on a Samoan tan, and starts fucking with Manti Te’o’s yearning heart out of spite again.

Did Discover get it right? What do you guys think?

[via Fox Business]

Image via Bleacher Report

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  1. AUFratdaddy

    After a 3-9 season and losing to Bama four out of the past five years and going through the worst season in recent Auburn history, you better bet we’re the most loyal fans in college football. War Eagle

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  2. ReaganKA

    I’m on adderall so if you think I tried to hard fuck you

    The BCS has existed since 1998. The SEC has won 9 National Championships in the BCS era. The next best conference has won 2. The SEC is 9-1 in BCS championship games (only loss coming to another SEC team) with records of 3-0 vs the Big 12, 2-0 vs the Big Ten, 1-0 vs the Pac 10/12, 1-0 vs the ACC, and 1-0 vs Notre Dame. The SEC has had 5 different teams win BCS National Championships (Alabama, Florida, LSU, Auburn, Tennessee) and has a streak of 7 in a row. This year the SEC went 6-3 in bowl games. The 6 wins were more wins than any other conference had and the .667 winning percentage was tied with the ACC for the best winning percentage among BCS conferences. The SEC hasn’t had a losing record in a bowl season since 2002. The SEC broke its own record for most bowl wins in a bowl season by going 7-2 in 2007. In the 2012-13 season the SEC had 7 teams finish in the final AP poll top 25 (that’s half the conference), which was more teams than any other conference had. The SEC is superior to all other regions of the country in high school football talent, beautiful women, being frat, supporting the 2nd amendment, coaching, fan support, and hating Obama. Eat shit J Parks all of your columns suck.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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  3. Cockmeatsandwich

    Fuck you rest of the country, the south is and will always be the home of football. And a special fuck you goes to Big 10 fans, you guys blow donkey dick.

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    • Teddy Brosevelt

      Sure our football is subpar and I’m not going to argue against it, but please feel free to explain to me how being loyal to our teams makes us “blow donkey dick.”

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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    • Cockmeatsandwich

      Well you obviously blow some sort of dick for clinging on to teams that are just shitty the way a queer clings on to a dudes butthole. And I assumed that donkeys were your dick of choice seeing as they probably pull the plows for your cornfields and would be easily accessible.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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    • Teddy Brosevelt

      Your logic absolutely amazes. The rankings were for the most LOYAL fans in college football. It’s called being loyal for a reason. Basically what you are telling me is that I shouldn’t be loyal to a subpar team and just jump on a bandwagon. That is a good, solid argument. Well done, dumbass.

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  4. Douglas MacArthur

    Fuck you JParks and your articles about tugging it to gun wielding child killers, glorifying child molestation, praying for a Chinese invasion of our homeland, and saying the ACC is the best tennis conference.

    Do you people even read?

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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  5. Dinosaurs

    The Auburn faithful had less in attendance at the Iron Bowl this year than when Bama played Western Carolina. Just sayin’.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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