Self Driving Cars Will Ruin Road Head

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You’re cruising down the highway, off to a weekend at the lake to celebrate the start of summer. The primary piece of summer puss you’ve picked out is riding shotgun, tits bouncing to high heaven with every pothole. You reach over and touch her neck that way that drove her crazy the other night and, within seconds, she’s got her lips on your neck, hand on your chub, and is setting herself up to make this car ride a lot more fun (for you, at least).

It’s hard to make a blowjob better than it already is, but the feeling in the back of your mind that you can crash and die at any given moment is exactly what it takes to make a mediocre slobbery mess of a sexual act into an out-of-this-world, adrenaline, testosterone, and saliva-filled adventure of a sexual act. Who wouldn’t want more of that?

An unintended, but arguably paramount benefit of self-driving cars is the potential for more sex on the road. With hands-free and no steering wheel to get in the way, there’s tons more time and space for all kinds of positions and activities. But if you get a blowjob in a car that’s driving itself, is it still road head?

Let’s look at what makes road head what it is. First off, you need to be in a car. Easy enough, a self-driving car is still a car. Second, you need to get a blowjob. Duh. And then there’s that looming threat of danger. Well, there’s where things are going to hell. When driverless cars become the norm, driving will become safer, and driving will become simply “going along for the ride.” Without the multitasking of driving and getting your dick sucked or the threat of closing your eyes for just one second too long, it’ll just be another blowjob. Thankfully, we aren’t there just yet.

Barrie Kirk of the Canadian Automated Vehicles Centre of Excellence is worried that we are going to trust these cars too much, too soon.

From Cosmopolitan:

…these driverless cars aren’t yet truly driverless and might eventually shout out that they need you to take over, but if you’re too busy having sex to do that, you could be in serious danger.

In these early stages of driverless technology, there is still danger to be found. You could be mid-orgasm when your car decides to hand the reins back to you, and then what? Seems like the risk might actually be even greater, at least for now. Back in the old days, you knew you needed to keep an eye on things the whole time. Now you can be hands-off, but there’s a chance you’ll miss the moment when you need to be hands-on again.

Enjoy this more dangerous road head while it lasts, for as the technology improves and we reach full autonomy on the road, road head will be just another blowjob.

[via Cosmopolitan]

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