Senator John McCain Appreciates Strippers

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I’ve always been a pretty big fan of Senator John McCain. He is an utterly incredible human being. Sure, he didn’t run the best campaign in 2008, but he was an aviator in the United States Navy, was shot down over Vietnam, and held prisoner by the North Vietnamese in the notorious “Hanoi Hilton.” When offered to be paroled because of his father’s high-ranking position, he declined because his fellow prisoners would not be released with him. After leaving the Navy, he entered politics, eventually becoming one of the two United States Senators from Arizona. If you need another reason to like the man, I think I’ve found it.

John McCain loves strippers. I know it sounds ridiculous, but just hear me out.

There is currently legislation on Capitol Hill, known as the COINS Act, that aims to save the federal government money by eliminating the the one dollar bill in exchange for one dollar coins. Senator McCain is one of the co-sponsors of this bill. A reporter essentially asked McCain if this bill would cause economic woes for strippers.

When you think about it, the reporter’s question actually makes a good bit of sense. You can’t do with a coin what you can with a bill. You certainly can’t, as comedian Daniel Tosh calls it, “make it hail.” That’ll get you kicked out very quickly. I actually think I know a guy who tried it once. Sen. McCain, being the wise man that he is, understood this and responded, “Then I hope that they could obtain larger denominations.”

According to The Hill, the 76-year-old McCain started answering questions from another reporter before a smile spread across his face and he shouted down the hallway to The Hill, “Fives, tens, one hundreds!”

I really wish I’d seen this in person.

I’m not too keen on politics, but it seems to me that Senator John McCain is just doing what he does best: supporting small businesses and their employees. After all, you didn’t see any strip clubs getting bailouts, did you? They’re just out there trying to make a buck to pay their tuition anyway, right?

[via CNN Politics]

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BlutarskyTFM

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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  1. 16
    LambdaAlphaChi

    McCain fought for this great nation and I think its excellent that he supports the stripper community, but with some of his policies and viewpoints he might as well call himself a democrat.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
  2. -1
    OMFratRebel

    In my book, John McCain was arguably the greatest man to ever lose the Presidential election. There wasn’t a damn thing wrong with the man.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago

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