The Bloods versus Crips of affluent white people reached its tipping point at Aspen Highlands over the weekend when a skier tossed a snowboarder off a damn chairlift after dropping a snowboarding joke on him that included language like “tits deep pow shots.” Justifiable?
Look, snowboarders, we can’t decipher your hip snowboard jargon and don’t understand why anyone would subject themselves to that thing you have to do on flat ground where you pull one foot out of your binding to push yourselves along all wonky-like. You mountain trash. We buy our ski gear at Dick’s and carry hand warmers and drink hot chocolate and shit like that. We don’t smoke pot on chairlifts and wear CamelBaks, and we don’t “toss pow.” Fucking dopers.
Another thing: We don’t appreciate your jokes. Seth Beckton, snowboarder, found this out the hard way.
Seth boarded a chairlift next to an upstanding member of society, a skier, and the two kept mostly to themselves while ascending the mountain.
From The Aspen Times:
Beckton said he and the skier barely spoke on the way up the mountain, though the man called attention to Beckton’s snowboard when they got on the lift, saying, “Oh, you’re a snowboarder, huh?”
It wasn’t until the top of the lift, at about 9:30 a.m., that the two men began chatting about the 5 to 6 inches of fresh powder on the ground, he said. Beckton said he made a comment about it being easier to get face shots of powder on skis as opposed to a snowboard.
Seth hit him with this joke: “To get tits deep pow shots you just need to be on your edges.” The skier responded appropriately, according to Seth’s account of the incident on his Facebook page.
[He] replied, “are you laughing at me?” Me “Kind of…yes?? ” Well is this funny?”.. he then proceeded to push/pull me off the chair.
Asking someone “Well is this funny?” followed by throwing him off a chairlift is an all-time power mountain move. Inspiring. Seth only fell about 20-25 feet and landed on some soft pow, though, so he was alright.
Below is Seth’s Facebook post. He warns other snowboarding scum of the skier doing God’s work.
Read the description of the skier again: “Unknown human skier who tosses people from chair lifts was wearing a 1/3 burgundy 2/3 tan jacket with gray pants, an old silver Giro helmet with old Smith sensor mirror goggles.”
He just described every one of the 10,000 yuppies who descend upon Aspen each week. All skiers..
[via The Aspen Times]
Image via Shutterstock