Small Town Mayor Puts Strip Club Visit on the City Tab, Gets DWI

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Nathan Grellner, mayor of Valley Park, Missouri, which is a distant suburb of St. Louis, recently used the city credit card at a nearby strip club and a local restaurant. Grellner, who is notorious for skipping alderman meetings in order to make it rain taxpayer money on the area’s saddest single mothers, attended his first such meeting in six months. Why did Grellner feel it necessary to finally attend a Valley Park aldermen meeting? To apologize for skipping out on previous meetings and using the city credit card on sluts for money, of course.

“It’s like having Charlie Sheen for mayor,” alderwoman Rita Collins told KMOX.

Ms. Collins then giggled, texted her neighbor about the funny joke she had just made, and started to share a famous casserole recipe with the reporter, who was forced to hit her with his microphone until she finally stopped talking.

Nathan Grellner was also recently arrested for a DWI. During the arrest Grellner got into an altercation with the officer and ultimately spit in the officer’s face. Grellner blamed his poor behavior on “stress.” No word on if he also took the time to explain to the officer which minority was responsible for all the world’s wars.

Grellner has already taken steps to pay the city back for his many purchases, including the ones he made at the Penthouse Club, which totalled $34.00. Grellner claims that not a single dollar of that total was used to buy alcohol. So… it WAS used on pussy then? According to the receipt Grellner cashed out at 3:35am, long after the club’s hot wing buffet closes, so his options were limited.

After the meeting, Grellner sequestered himself in his office and refused to answer any more questions about how he had used the card. He also had no comment on whether or not the line “Sup baby, I’m the mayor of Valley Park,” impressed any of the strippers, but my guess is that no, no it did not.

[h/t to reader TFM]

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Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 0
    Wish I were in Dixie

    Staying until 3:30 AM and only spending $34? The alderwoman is just pissed that her daughter is no closer to paying for community college then at the beginning of her shift.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago