Someone Stole 10,000 Bottles Of Whiskey

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Would you rather have $10,000 or 10,000 bottles of liquor? For someone in South Carolina, this is a very serious question.

After 884 cases of Chicken Cock Whiskey went missing, the company’s owner, Matti Anttila, offered a $10,000 reward for the intact return of more than 10,000 bottles of liquor. According to Anttilla, the whiskey has a retail value of over $200,000.

The bottles of the 86-proof whiskey, which were in the trailer of an 18-wheeler, were stolen at a truck stop in Florence, South Carolina while being transported to the company’s Texas-based distributor. This is purely speculative on my part, but I’m pretty sure that means someone in a truck came and stole the trailer while the driver was in the truck stop taking a dump. It seems to me like this was a premeditated crime and could even be an inside job.

Think about it. You’d have to know where the truck was going, when it was leaving, and what its contents were. A random person off the street isn’t just going to snag a random trailer from the parking lot of a truck stop and drive off with it. Honestly, this sounds like some Smokey and the Bandit shit to me.

Though the truck cab was later found, the whereabouts of the trailer and its contents are still unknown. One thing is for sure. Someone out there has a lot of whiskey on their hands and a BAC over .30.



BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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