It was only a matter of time until the United States’ World Cup success and Tim Howard’s instant rise to a household name turned into a rush to rename random places and landmarks.
Sure enough, a petition to rename Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport to Tim Howard National Airport was posted to WhiteHouse.gov. According to the petition’s creator, Tim Howard more than qualifies as a candidate to knock a former president’s name off of an airport in our nation’s capital.
Whereas Tim Howard has shown himself to be a national treasure, Minister of Defense, Friend of Joe Biden, and the holder for the record of most saves in a World Cup match; Therefore, we politely request that we rename the airport to recognize his accomplishments, and meritorious service to the United States of America.
Fair enough. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. If the airport wasn’t named after Ronald Reagan, I’d most likely say, “fuck it, let’s do it.”
The petition had only 17,417 signatures this morning and it needs 82,583 in order to reach its goal of 100,000 and receive a response from the White House. While it does not look like it will reach its mark, it was a semi-valiant effort.
There are many more places and things that could be renamed after the soccer star that would be a much better fit: the Patriot Missile Defense System, for instance. Maybe the United States Border Patrol would even be better. Fuck it, just rename the entire Department of Defense after this guy. He’s earned it, after all.
Fuck you, Belgium.
Image via Wikimedia Commons