Squirrely-Looking GDI Burns Composites Outside Ohio University Theta Chi House

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Nice Move

Security cameras at the Ohio University Theta Chi house captured a creepy-looking dude with a dirt ‘stache and an afro stealing a stack of composite photos from the residence, dousing them in gasoline, and burning them on the porch. The incident occurred on December 29, and as of yesterday, the suspect remains at large.

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Dude looks like Napoleon Dynamite was vigorously molested throughout childhood.

Trailer Park Sideshow Bob also vandalized the inside of the house, ripping doors off hinges, breaking shit, cutting up the couch, throwing aerosol in the microwave, which melted it, and setting off a fire extinguisher, which covered a room in powder. He also wrote “Fuck You Theta Chi” on a composite, which means shit’s personal.

It’s safe to assume the cowardly, pathetic act is related to another arson attack on the house that occurred in May. The kitchen was set on fire with some sort of accelerant. Four Theta Chi brothers and one girlfriend escaped from the house, but a sixth person had to be rescued by firefighters.

It’s a genuinely terrifying thing, and I feel awful for the brothers. They’re just trying to live the good life in college, and some psycho is terrorizing them. I wonder what the motive is. Is he a bitter rushee who never got a bid? A lovesick goober whose college crush blew half the fraternity without giving his squirrely-looking ass the time of day? Or is he the designated “Creepy Arson Pledge” of a rival fraternity? All possibilities. Two of them probable.

h/t Athens News


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