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Stanford Student Has The Best College Football Sign Maybe Ever

It’s simple, it’s clever, and it’s a nice “fuck you” to the team the Stanford Dancing Trees Cardinal are playing tonight, the Oregon Ducks. The #3 and #5 ranked teams in the BCS square off tonight, adding to an already glorious night of college football, with Baylor taking on Oklahoma in the early game. A LOT of championship dreams could be crushed tonight.

Stanford kids are smart, as we already knew, but I appreciate so much more when they use their intelligence to stoop down to our vulgar level, while somehow elevating it at the same time. That’s just impressive. This Stanford student’s sign certainly beats your average state school fan’s poster board scrawled with the words, “[Insert Opposing Quarterback] Drinks His Own Pee.” Though, to be fair, the latter actually makes me laugh harder.

It’s a good thing for whichever kid dresses up as that Stanford tree that the Cardinal have already eliminated themselves (probably) from the national championship hunt, because if they qualified and somehow beat Alabama, there’s a better than good chance a confused hillbilly would track tree boy down and pour poison into his throat, mistaking him for some sort of real tree. You would think the ‘Bama fan would at least be curious as to why the tree was sentient and begging for its life in English, but football losses tend to blind SEC fans to things like rationality or critical thinking, such as, “Could this googley-eyed tree made of cloth actually be a human being that I’m currently murdering?” ‘Bama fans hate rival trees, end of story. Maybe the kid would be lucky enough to escape with a simple tea bagging. I don’t know.

Regardless, well done on the sign.

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[via @FarrenBenjamin]

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