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Sterling Cooper and the Pyramids

Brothers,

I had a particularly disturbing conversation with a more liberal-leaning associate of mine (Sterling Cooper has liberal associates? Never!). He mentioned that some of his life goals were to see the Great Wall of China and the Pyramids. When I asked him what his reason was, he simply said that they represent the great achievements that humanity can make when it works together. This bothered me deeply, and I thought this would be a great opportunity to share more of my philosophy with you.

There is no denying that these two marvels of human innovation are impressive and spectacular, but there is an element to them that many people tend to overlook. Both structures share more than an impressive statement of human ingenuity and hard work. They were also built by hundreds of thousands of slaves, working against their will for dictators who couldn’t have cared less if all of their workers died in the making of their monuments, so long as the task was completed. It occurs to me that this marks an interesting dichotomy between what liberals believe and what they do.

I have long been a proponent of capitalism. The funny thing about capitalism is that it has gone from a defining word of American existence, to a vulgar word used deceptively by left-leaning idiots (thanks, Michael Moore) or a colloquial device employed by insincere Republicans looking for popular support. I’d like to explain briefly what capitalism means to me, without devolving into a boring lecture on supply side economics vs. Keynesian hocus-pocus.

In broad terms, capitalism represents the freedom of consumers to select what goods they purchase from producers. The circle comes back around because these consumers are also the workforce driving the creation of said producers’ goods. Anyone who has taken basic macro knows this. However, this freedom to choose is much more than an economic tenet; it is also a moral necessity. The Great Wall and the Pyramids, while impressive, represent nothing more than the evil of monopolized power and economic control. And yet, civil rights-loving liberals are oddly content with ignoring the facts of their creation and instead focusing on the beauty of their appearance. Is this nitpicking? Perhaps. But I think it illustrates a large disconnect on the side of the left in ignoring history in favor of making surface-level generalizations about collective progress.

It is the height of irony that those who accuse conservatives of being racist, sexist, and ignorant oppose a system which, if implemented correctly, would solve many of the problems they claim it to cause. The evil in economics is not a system that is blind to all prejudices, save the ability to produce. The evil lies in supporting an ideology that artificially supports those who don’t contribute to society and brings down those who go beyond the call of necessity to produce products which make that society successful.

Men, I could go on this rant for days, but I know – as I always have – that I am preaching to the (moderately intoxicated) choir. I merely felt that I should share my frustrations with you, as you may indeed be one of the few groups who fully understand what I am saying. I’m not supporting any particular legislation, nor am I endorsing a particular candidate. All I’m saying is that we need to tell America what we yell at our pledges on a daily basis: “figure it the fuck out.”

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Sterling Cooper

Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.

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