“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” You can if that horse is a fucking pledge. TFM.
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Not knowing how to make any mixed drink that requires more than two ingredients. TFM.
Describing every competition you don’t win as “horse shit,” “rigged,” or “un-American.” TFM.
Getting the wrong lens prescription because you took the eye exam while intoxicated. TFM.