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Study Shows Most Men Are Terrible At Sex

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According to “The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups,” a book recently published by Dr. Harry Fisch, 43 percent of men only last about two minutes in bed. Apparently, there are quite a few “two-pump chumps” out there–two sweet, sensual pumps. The average was calculated to be 7.3 minutes, but that statistic is totally skewed by porn stars who rail each other for hours on end.

Dr. Fisch also points out that men tend to be bothered more than women by the fact that sex only lasts about two minutes, which I find to be complete bullshit. No woman has ever said, “Oh, I sure am glad that we only had sex for two minutes! I needed to get back to reading about sluts on Yik Yak.”

So, ladies, if you’ve found a guy who can last longer than two minutes, you should probably try to keep him. Otherwise, according to statistics, you have a good chance of being forever disappointed sexually.

[via USA Today]

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BourbonNeat

Is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move. Spends his spare time drinking Smirnoff Ices on the rocks, while listening to mixed CDs of Nickelback, Creed, and Lifehouse.

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