Stuff Frat People Like: Sorority Bid Day

Email this to a friend

Nice Move

My friends, I am here to warn you of an oncoming epidemic plaguing campuses across the nation. This infestation knows no bounds, and will soon wrap its clutches around each and every part of our immaculate campuses. What on earth could I be talking about you may ask? It isn’t swine flu, SARS, or the clap, I assure you. This outbreak is the massive influx of naive masses of freshmen students.

But fear not, for there is a silver lining to this dismal situation: the Class of 2015 females who will soon be embracing the benefits of a rambunctious Greek lifestyle.

While these freshmen girls may be untrained in the finer points of the collegiate experience (still think handjobs are an OK substitute for sex), in a few short weeks these girls will be corralled through each sorority house, and judged by hundred of ruthless sorority women. This beautiful process sorts the bovines from the potential slams, and while the sorority girls may despise it, we see it as a true blessing. Less work for us.

Come bid day, an entire pledge class full of these fledgling freshmen girls will be thrown face first (literally) into our pristine world of casual hookups, binge drinking, and stimulant abuse. However your school handles bid day, be it a full on “running of the bulls” stampede through campus, or a more subtle (and probably more respectful) saunter to their respective houses, the aftermath of bid day is the highlight.

Each sorority is encouraged to show off their “babies” to us, the esteemed and not at all disrespectful fraternity men eagerly waiting to meet our new Greek peers. What follows is one of the drunkest most interesting nights on campus by far.

These girls are by no means prepared for the massive quantities of alcohol we consume on a regular basis, and it shows. It is not uncommon to see these “precious babies” sickly submerging their faces in a toilet bowl, or unconscious in a parking lot by midnight. A select few girls persist, and I assure you my brothers, these are the one’s you want to pay attention to.

Just be cautious about the intoxication level of your potential slams through the night to prevent a potential vomit-on-dick catastrophe. There’s only one thing worse than blue balls, and that’s blue balls covered in puke.

StuffFratPeopleLike

StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments. All shameless praise can be directed to: joe@grandex.co

More From StuffFratPeopleLike »

Comments

You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.

  1. 3
    booze haze slam

    @daddysdarling hope you enjoy this wall and its a true shame i will not get to see you in action. i can tell your gonna be a lot of fun for some goupof guys. as for you pussies who dont want her here. shut the fuck up. shes one of the reason we went to college to begin with.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
    • 3
      daddysdarling

      Haha why thank you. I certainly wasn’t expecting to be quite so ambushed when I thought, no expected, other Greek members to be excited that someone wants to also be an upstanding member of the fraternal community. And I don’t need anyone to sugar coat anything Dubstate. Booze Haze was right to say something. I’ve never been spoken to like that by any man so you’re incorrect with assuming I’ll be faced with a lot harder things than a few disrespectful comments because I would never associate or hangout with anyone who would talk to a woman that way. Y’all need to learn some manners.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
    • 1
      dubstate

      please grow a dick and stop trying to sugar coat what college will be like for her. I guarantee she will be faced with a lot harder things than a few disrespectful comments on a website, so chill the fuck out.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
  2. 3
    texsigchi12

    @ the standard and constantine
    our founder created this fraternity to get away from the doucheslords of DKE, lets not become douches like them

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
  3. 2
    MightBePike

    What is this business with Sororities posing for bid day sans top? Gotta be from up north or I shoulda been visiting other chapters on select days in the year.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago

Load More

1 2 3