Stuff Frat People Like: Sorority Bid Day

Email this to a friend

Nice Move

My friends, I am here to warn you of an oncoming epidemic plaguing campuses across the nation. This infestation knows no bounds, and will soon wrap its clutches around each and every part of our immaculate campuses. What on earth could I be talking about you may ask? It isn’t swine flu, SARS, or the clap, I assure you. This outbreak is the massive influx of naive masses of freshmen students.

But fear not, for there is a silver lining to this dismal situation: the Class of 2015 females who will soon be embracing the benefits of a rambunctious Greek lifestyle.

While these freshmen girls may be untrained in the finer points of the collegiate experience (still think handjobs are an OK substitute for sex), in a few short weeks these girls will be corralled through each sorority house, and judged by hundred of ruthless sorority women. This beautiful process sorts the bovines from the potential slams, and while the sorority girls may despise it, we see it as a true blessing. Less work for us.

Come bid day, an entire pledge class full of these fledgling freshmen girls will be thrown face first (literally) into our pristine world of casual hookups, binge drinking, and stimulant abuse. However your school handles bid day, be it a full on “running of the bulls” stampede through campus, or a more subtle (and probably more respectful) saunter to their respective houses, the aftermath of bid day is the highlight.

Each sorority is encouraged to show off their “babies” to us, the esteemed and not at all disrespectful fraternity men eagerly waiting to meet our new Greek peers. What follows is one of the drunkest most interesting nights on campus by far.

These girls are by no means prepared for the massive quantities of alcohol we consume on a regular basis, and it shows. It is not uncommon to see these “precious babies” sickly submerging their faces in a toilet bowl, or unconscious in a parking lot by midnight. A select few girls persist, and I assure you my brothers, these are the one’s you want to pay attention to.

Just be cautious about the intoxication level of your potential slams through the night to prevent a potential vomit-on-dick catastrophe. There’s only one thing worse than blue balls, and that’s blue balls covered in puke.

StuffFratPeopleLike

StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments. All shameless praise can be directed to: joe@grandex.co

More From StuffFratPeopleLike »

Comments

You must be logged in to comment. Log in or create an account.

  1. 2
    MightBePike

    What is this business with Sororities posing for bid day sans top? Gotta be from up north or I shoulda been visiting other chapters on select days in the year.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
  2. 2
    texsigchi12

    @ the standard and constantine
    our founder created this fraternity to get away from the doucheslords of DKE, lets not become douches like them

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
  3. 1
    Frat_Easy

    daddysdarling, i have no problem with you being here, but if you are looking for a web site where there are no disrespectful comments towards women, im afraid this is not the site for you. i’m not trying to be an ass, and i will say that when it comes down to brass tacks, a fraternity man will always stand up for a woman, however, this site has a tendency to poke fun at women. thats just the way it is.

    and yes, good luck with rush

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
    • 0
      The Standard

      Well I think you just need to shut the fuck up because nobody cares what you think a fraternity man would and wouldn’t do. If you have some built up fantasy image of what greeklife is going to be like and how every man is going to be around you, then I must say bless your heart.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
    • -2
      daddysdarling

      I think the TFM’s poking fun at women are entertaining but I just didn’t think fraternity gentlemen would actually say those things to a woman. But, thank you kindly.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago
    • -2
      Burning Cross

      this is mind-blowing, so they DO have kitchens in high schools for “potential” sorostitutes to use the internet and troll this site? kitchens these days…

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 4 years ago

Load More

1 2 3