Recently, Team USA’s Opening Ceremony uniforms for the 2016 Summer Olympics have come under fire and I’m can’t figure out why. Sure, the unis aren’t always a great representation of what most Americans would find “fashionable,” but these are the best I’ve seen in recent years.
Ralph Lauren Polo is once again in charge of dressing the elite athletes. The designer is going white pants, a navy blue blazer and a red, white, and blue striped underneath it all. The flag bearer even gets a special outfit that illuminates “Team USA” as he walks. Best of all, there are no dopey fucking hats this time. Those looked awful every single year. Although, I would be down to see Team USA stroll in rocking some “Back to Back World War Champs” hats. That’d be a major power move. I’ll leave that to Trump’s USA, though.
The look overall is one of the best Team USA has seen in years. Still, though, people have found shit to complain about.
Then there’s the United States of America, whose team will be parading down Rio de Janeiro’s Olympic Stadium in … Polo Ralph Lauren boat shoes.
That’s right, the entire team will be forcibly making a style faux pas with an unabashed display of Americana…which unfortunately comes with awful footwear options.
We’ve already spoken about the pitfalls of the boat shoe so won’t go too in-depth there, but it’s disappointing to see how the U.S.A. will already be losing on the fashion front.
So why go out with anything less than America’s best — like clunky boat shoes?
Sneakers — a very American staple — could have sufficed.
Ah yes. I always tend to agree with that guy that suggests wearing sneakers to a classy event. I assume you’d like for Team USA to sport the t-shirt tuxedo too, yes?
Oh yeah, cause I’m going to wear Polo and NOT let everyone around me know it. No way. I paid good money for my shit. I want all the poorsies to know.
I…yeah, okay. That’s a good one. The shirt does look an awful lot like the Russian flag.
At least we’ll be led by our fearless leader and 22-time Olympic medal winner Michael Phelps.
Coverage of the Olympic Opening Ceremony begins at 6 p.m. on Friday..
Image via Instagram/@ralphlauren