Teens Break Into Mobile Home, Steal “Midget Porn,” Start Fire

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Nice Move

It’s been said that you can’t judge a book by its cover, and that’s very true. It also really applies to the world of internet news. You can’t judge an article by its title. Far too many times have I stumbled across an article with an enticing title, only to find out it completely blows. However, I recently came across an article with a title so good, I knew the actual story had to be incredible. It couldn’t be fake. I wasn’t being tricked.

I came across a legitimate story involving “midget porn” and arson. It’s an online smut pusher’s dream.

The article, which I found on the Huffington Post‘s Weird News section, is titled, and I’m not making this up, “Sergio Seanez Allegedly Steals ‘Midget Porn’ DVDs, Sets Home On Fire: Cops.”

I swear I heard the smut angels singing when I first saw it. Truly some magical shit, guys.

What exactly happened? Well, according to an official criminal complaint, 18-year-old Sergio Seanez and his 17-year-old partner in crime decided to do a little breaking and entering last month. I mean, shit, what else is there to do in Chaparral, New Mexico?

According to the complaint, and I swear this isn’t made up, the two criminals broke into a mobile home and stole “multiple DVDs relating to Midget Pornography.” You saw that correctly. That said “Midget Pornography,” people.

I have to wonder, though, how exactly did that go down? I assume the two broke into the trailer looking for anything of value, which they did eventually find (electronic appliances and a mirror), but the real question is whether the midget porn was just taken at random or if these two idiots think, “Oh, shit. Midget porn!” as they looted the residence.

After making off with the goods, the pair of delinquents set the trailer on fire, because theft of little people porn just isn’t enough, I guess. Unfortunately for Seanez, he’s looking at some serious charges.

Seanez was charged with burglary, arson, breaking and entering, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He is scheduled to appear in court Sept. 23.

Keep this in mind next time you’re having a shitty day. At least you’re not breaking into mobile homes, stealing footage of dwarves getting it on, then burning the place to the ground.

[via Huffington Post]

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BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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