“My dad bequeathed me three great gifts, an awesome name, an unconditional love and being raised in West Texas.” -W. TFM.
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Telling the pledges you’re giving up hazing for Lent, then reminding them you’re in a Jewish fraternity. TFM.
Loudly announcing, “He was masturbating,” any time EMS has to come to the house to treat an injured brother. TFM.
Convincing your parents to spend thousands of dollars so you can drink in a mansion throughout college. TFM.
Spending all night convincing her you’re not trying to get in her pants just to get in her pants. TFM.