Tennessee State Representative’s Drunk Son Shoots Shotgun At Beer Truck

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We all make some pretty questionable decisions when we drink. That’s just part of the game, and there’s really no way around it. Nine times out of 10, those decisions, while certainly not the best, just end up being something to laugh about the next day. However, every now and then, you just plain fuck up.

Matthew Sparks, 22, fucked up.

His night probably started out fine. He had a few drinks, had a good time, and just enjoyed himself as anyone would. At some point, things got out of hand. I can’t be sure what happened, but I am sure that Matthew Sparks definitely fucked up.

How can I be so sure? Well, because he fired a shotgun at a beer truck.

At some point, Sparks walked up to the side of a beer truck outside a convenience store and just fired a shot at it.

If that wasn’t dumb enough, he later drove drunk to a bowling alley, did doughnuts in the parking lot, and was subsequently apprehended by the police.

When asked by the police why he came to the bowling alley so early in the morning, Sparks replied that he came “to retrieve his phone and sober up.” Not really the best answer, bud. It’s never a good idea to tell the cops that you drove somewhere to sober up. Not a good idea at all.

When the police asked to search the visibly intoxicated Sparks’ car, which, along with its owner, matched the description from the incident outside the convenience store where the shot was fried, he consented.

Upon searching the vehicle, the cops found a single-shot shotgun and a box of cartridges. I’m no lawyer, but that doesn’t sound too good for Sparks.

While it may not be good for Matthew Sparks, it’s also not too good for his father, Mike Sparks, either. Mike Sparks is a representative in the Tennessee House of Representatives. He’s got a primary challenger for the Republican nomination in addition to the Democratic candidate vying for his seat. The news of his drunk son shooting up a beer truck certainly won’t look good on the campaign trail.

All that business aside, I have one lingering question: why a beer truck?

Maybe Sparks was mad at beer for getting him so drunk. I don’t know. Personally, I could never shoot at a beer truck. Think of all the beers inside. I couldn’t hurt one of those, man. I love them too damn much.

[via Tennessean.com]

BlutarskyTFM (@BlutoGrandex) is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems, the self-appointed Senior Military Analyst for TFM News, founder of the #YesAllMenWhoWearHawaiianShirts Movement, and, on an unrelated note, a huge fan of buffets. While by no means an athletic man, he was the four-square champion of his elementary school in 1997. When not writing poorly organized columns or cracking stupid, inappropriate jokes on Twitter, Bluto pretends to be well-read, finds excuses not to exercise, and actually has a real job.

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