It looks like we can add another page to the “bad ideas” notebook. With such a plethora of inappropriate and sexually explicit themes available for parties, there isn’t a need to enter into the realm of race-themed parties. Sure, you can always slightly work around it by claiming your party is border patrol-themed, but we’re still at the mercy of the social justice warriors. So, don’t do that.
If you happened to pass the FIJI house at the University of Texas on Saturday night, you might have noticed an assload of ponchos, a few construction workers, some military garb, and a monstrous cardboard bottle of tequila. Sadly, it wasn’t Cabo, it was only Austin. The theme of the party is still uncertain (kind of, but not really). According to the school newspaper, the theme was “border patrol.” The president of FIJI, however, disagrees.
Andrew Campbell, the chapter’s president, denied that the organization intended to throw a border patrol-themed party, telling the school’s newspaper that the bash was supposed to be a “Western-themed party which focuses on the traditional Old West.”
“We notified our chapter prior to the party via email that the theme was Western — not south of the border or anything Mexican related,” Campbell said in an emailed statement. “It was our intention to monitor and enforce this policy to the best of our ability.”
Okay, Andrew, we’ll pretend that everyone just happened to arrive dressed in costumes that were connected to Mexican stereotypes. If your party’s theme is Old West, do you just expect a bunch of slutty cowgirls to gallop through your front door? There is so much more room for creativity, and you just blew your load on a party that is sure to result in your chapter being crucified by the everything-is-now-racist media. In your defense, however, you did apologize. That still means something, right?
Campbell continued, “If any individual or cultural groups were offended, Texas Fiji apologizes for any insensitivity that our guests or members may have portrayed. It is never Texas Fiji’s intent to alienate or demean any ethnic group.”
It’s probably not over, though. Unfortunately, someone will be sure you all are required to attend sensitivity training. In the off-chance you’re unable to come up with future party themes that won’t find your chapter on the front page of Gawker, I have a few suggestions: dinosaurs and jurassic whores, robots and sluts, afros and camel toes, and finally, my favorite, yoga hoes and trainer bros. If you do decide to use any of those, I’d appreciate an invite, though I probably won’t come..
Images via The Daily Texan/Julia Brouillette