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A Texas Professor Uses Democratic Socialism When Grading Tests, Lowering Some Students’ Grades

professor democratic socialism

The first article I ever wrote for TFM back when I was a sophomore (when I was still an anonymous troll and had no idea dicking around on a website would ever turn into a full-time job) was about setting the curve on college exams, and how busy, middle-of-the-road students who have better things to do (like make freshmen eat the individual ingredients of a cake, or skip class to get in on a drink special) hate the nerds who do it. But nerds gonna nerd, and the curve continues to be set at levels that offer little-to-no help to those of us who received an uncurved score resembling Jared Allen’s jersey number divided by 2.

That is, until this professor at a University of Texas System school decided to go full Denmark on his grading scale by taking a tip from Bernie Sanders’ playbook and socializing exam scores. Check out this email he sent out to his students.

test

This is the attached file:

bern

This professor is taking grade points away from the mentally privileged and giving it, free of charge, to the undetermined, unmotivated students of America. And, for the first time ever, the conservative students sitting in the back row with empty notebooks and water bottles full of dip spit aren’t outraged by their professor’s socialist ideologies.

I can see why this professor thinks this foray into socialized teaching is a victory for him and his socialist pals, but come on dude. These curve-setting nerds have nothing going for them except getting good grades. They don’t go out, they don’t hang out with friends, and they only have three friends: their pocket protector, their favorite beverage (milk), and their protractor. To them, getting an A is equivalent to having sex (an A+ is anal). They have nothing going for them except their grades. Think about the nerds next time, teach.

But, like I said, by all means keep grading shit this way. You won’t hear those kids sitting in the back complain.

Image via Shutterstock

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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