TFM’s Best Of The Week

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Bringing you the best content of the week.

1. Guy Goes To Mexico To Kill Himself, Spends Week Doing Coke And Banging Hookers, Decides To Keep Living

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Two thousand dollars spent on a trip to Mexico, a cab ride, a seedy hotel room, excessive amounts of cocaine, and hooker orgies legitimately saved a man’s life.

2. FAIL FRIDAY

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Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

3. Texas Tech Students Completely Incapable Of Answering Basic History And Current Event Questions

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Texas Tech is an accredited four-year institution where its students can’t even answer a simple current event question. That’s why they’ve been sentenced to four years in God-awful Lubbock.

4.Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines, Part 19

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Crazy things can happen when you swipe right.

5. Men Dressed In Military Uniforms And Guy Fawkes Masks Threaten Greek Life Members At KU

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It’s unknown how many masked dingleberries took part in this 5th of November “protest,” but it’s been confirmed that two have been taken into custody by police.

6. 3,000 People Rioted On Halloween And Destroyed Everything In Sight At East Carolina University

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All reports point to a shit ton of alcohol mixed with Halloween festivities as culprits behind the wild scene, which found officers being pelted with debris upon responding.

7. Mailbag: Our Formal Trip To Vegas Is Booked But Our Dates Bailed, Help Us Find Hot Replacements

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The emailer, Kyle, would like to replace them, but he doesn’t want to settle on “some 6 with a bitchy personality.” He’s swinging for the fences.

8. Frenchman Sets Bar Record By Drinking 56 Shots; Guess What Happens Next

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It’s a shame the bar in question here would even boast some kind of record like this as if it’s something to be proud of or known for.

9. I Visited The University Of Maryland And Now Have A Very Conflicted Opinion Of It

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I liked most of the people I met from UMD. The campus was gorgeous. The bars were few, but fun. Still though, what the fuck is wrong with your state?

10. Jameis Winston Allegedly Involved In Point Shaving Scheme

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Another week, another Jameis Winston controversy.

11. Colorado State Student Drugged Out On Molly Steals Ambulance, Masturbates In Jail, Fights Cops Who Bring Him Lunch

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Stefan Sortland had a better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) Halloween than you.

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