Thanks To Iowa Fans, We Now Know It Is Possible To Drink A Bar Out Of Beer

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Iowa lost a heartbreaker to Michigan State Saturday night. Watching their perfect season fall to the shocking second-effort touchdown by Michigan State’s LJ Scott hurt. It was different to watch the game from my perspective, though. I was sober. Sitting on my ass and shoveling handfuls of Fritos into my mouth was quite the opposite of what most Iowa fans were doing at the time.

If the reports are accurate, many of them should’ve been struggling to stand upright. Now, that’s not always a horrible problem to have when your team goes down in that fashion, but the amount of alcohol they allegedly drank before the game even began is quite impressive.

We saw worries that LSU fans would drink Syracuse dry earlier this season. Those fears never materialized, but Iowa fans weren’t afraid to go all in, and they literally depleted the largest stock of beer in the city of Indianapolis before their game even began.

Only 200 cases? Fucking amateurs. It’s not surprising, though. Iowa invaded and soaked up any alcohol in their general vicinity.

If you’re not impressed by that, you haven’t spent much time in a bar. As a professional degenerate, I can attest that drinking out a bar’s entire supply of beer is no small achievement. And, sadly, after the game Saturday, that’s the only achievement the Hawkeyes will be bringing back to Iowa City.

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