News

That High School Dork That Was Denied By Kate Upton Landed A MUCH Hotter Prom Date Instead

*****Update with prom photos*****

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Bonus video:

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Remember this dweeb from YouTube who put the screws to Kate Upton by very publicly asking her to his high school prom?

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Here is the original story we ran and here is Jake’s YouTube video if you need a refresher. I just watched it again, and it still makes me sick to my stomach. Kid needs a noogie/wedgie combo like I’ve never given before.

“Jake Davidson here in sunny Los Angeles…”

Roger Dorn here in hot-as-hell Austin, TX, and fuck you, Jake Davidson!

So, Kate, after giving Jake a soft commitment to attend prom with him, eventually said no, or actually, she “couldn’t fit it in her schedule.” Obviously, right? Anyone who ever thought there was a remote possibility of Kate toting those bosomy gifts from God through a high school dance floor was kidding themselves. Those little high school pervs would’ve been rocking little high school boners all night and the line to the men’s room would never have dipped below 75 dudes deep.

“Down goes Jake,” we snickered. “Another nerd bites the dust,” we all thought. Well, fuck that kid. Fuck Jake. Why fuck Jake? Fuck Jake because he actually is going to prom with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. And the worst part of it is, this one is like a thousand times hotter than Kate Upton.

It’s Nina Agdal, a brunette, Danish bombshell that was named Rookie of the Year from this year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

ABC News has the coverage:

The line to the bathroom would have been down the hall if Upton was attending, but now, with this Agdal chick, they may have to order about 30 emergency port-a-johns to line up outside the venue.

[via ABC News]

Images via Instagram

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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