Fraternities around the nation have been throwing ragers of ridiculous proportions since time immemorial. There is nothing better than blacking out so hard that you end up telling some freshman chick, who is wearing as little clothing as possible to match the party’s theme, that you’re the heir to the Walton’s fortune just to score a solid makeout sesh. That’s what college is all about.
So which fraternities across this fine country of ours throw the best parties? It’s time to put an end to this debate, even though you motherfuckers almost definitely won’t agree with the results. In no particular order, here are the ten best fraternity parties in America.
Ole Miss Sigma Nu’s Woodstock
With hundreds of partygoers packed into Sigma Nu’s yard, you’ll find southern belles doing things that aren’t so classy, brothers jumping into the pool with these girls, and everyone having an all-around good time. This party makes the original Woodstock look like hippy shit. Good music, good drinks, and good girls doing bad things. What more could you ask for?
ZBT takes advantage of the influx of females from around the state of Texas by throwing this party during Round Up. Round Up is crazy as it gets, but ZBTahiti is the showstopper of the weekend in my opinion. ZBT is the only house at UT with a pool, which leads to hundreds of skimpy bikini-wearing babes tossing back drinks like there’s no tomorrow while their wet bodies glisten in the sunlight. ZBT always has top-notch musical talent on-hand to perform: J. Cole, Dorrough, and Ying Yang Twins to name a few. Oh, and one more thing — they have alcoholic snow cones.
An event that takes weeks to prepare, SAE Jungle at any chapter has all the ingredients for a great party: a shit ton of alcohol, music that has the ladies going wild, and a build that rivals any other party. Throw in the talent pool that is the females of the schools, and you have one of the best parties in the nation.
Note that this doesn’t single out a certain chapter — FIJI Islander has always been huge at a majority of chapters across the country. It’s hard to go wrong here. Giant volcanos, girls on slip ‘n slides, hula skirts, great music, and enough alcohol to tranquilize a herd of elephants, set the tone for one of the best times you won’t remember.
University Of Arkansas Sigma Chi’s Ski Lodge
When a trip to Taos or Park City isn’t readily available, the next best thing to do is to bring the ski lodge to your house. That’s exactly what the men of Sigma Chi do at Arkansas. The pledges decorate the house to resemble a ski lodge, including ski lifts and snow. Once you get past the fact that everyone in the crowd is really at a family reunion, it’s a party that every female at Arkansas can enjoy.
University Of Georgia Chi Phi’s Lost
Take a large, outdoor concert, place that in front of a fraternity house, and you get Chi Phi Lost. Notorious for putting on a good show throughout the year, Chi Phi pulls out all the stops for Lost. Typically, the fraternity has a good band playing to go along with the Georgia peaches in attendance. (Side note: If you get the chance to bang a UGA chick, do it, you idiot.) I assume they call it “Lost” because a few people get lost in the woods for a little midday sex. Plus, once you’re blackout, you can go out in Athens.
University Of Oklahoma Beta’s Barn Dantz
The pledges spend the week building a barn in the front yard, setting up a fence around the property in the front, and wrangling up live farm animals from around the area. Inevitably, some of the animals get out, get stolen, or whatnot. A couple years back, someone stole goats, took them to the stadium, and released them on top of the press box (coincidentally, OU’s play-calling has struggled ever since). You end up with sorority girls stealing rabbits, ducks, or other small animals and taking them back to the dorms or sorority houses. Did I mention that the fine ladies of OU are also decked out in their Daisy Dukes and boots? Legs for days.
University Of Florida Phi Kappa Tau’s Oasis
Phi Tau has sixty tons of sand shipped in and put in their courtyard with shovels by the willing pledges. Makeshift pools and waterfalls set the scene to send you to an oasis rather than jorts-wearing Gainesville. A day party sets the stage for the night party with hot girls in bikinis grinding on dicks to whatever song is playing. A few DJs with some crazy light shows are present to make sure it gets weird. There is enough liquor to kill a pack of Phi Mus and there are themed shot bars upstairs all night. A post-party cools down around 4 a.m. when members retreat to their bedrooms with a female sexual counterpart. There are at least four people passed out in the sand the next morning.
Penn State Delta Sigma Phi’s Sailor’s Ball
Originating in the Roaring ’20s, Sailor’s Ball is a huge day-long party inside and outside of the house. Pledges construct a fish tank every year and an alumni donate thousands upon thousands of goldfish, which pretty much all get swallowed in accordance with tradition — as in, people are so sloshed that they have no problem with drinking down live goldfish. This leads to some good competition. Aside from that, the fraternity always has great musical performances, and the entire yard around the house is fenced to keep the riff-raff out. The attire is always in line with the festivities. Think a shit-ton of yachting wear and, of course, pinnies and throwback jerseys galore. There’s a reason Penn State has been linked to the top party schools, and Delta Sig does nothing to squash that notion.
Southern California Phi Psi’s Frost
USC Phi Psi takes full advantage of the southern California warm winter weather by throwing this snow-themed party. Every dime at USC comes to this thing, and they don’t wear much. Enough said.