The 2012 Election Condensed into 10 Songs from the ’90s

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Nice Move

Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong – Spin Doctors

“Been a whole lot easier since the bitch left town
Been a whole lot happier without her face around.”


That Was a Crazy Game of Poker – OAR

“20 thrown down in my fist of rage
And the man to my left has folded down.”


I Wanna Sex You Up – Color Me Badd


Only Wanna Be With You- Hootie & the Blowfish

“You like to laugh at me when I look at other girls.”

Dedicated to Newt Gingrich, who only wanted to be with his one, loving wife, so much so, in fact, that he selflessly propositioned his second of three spouses to participate in an open marriage (POWER MOVE…allegedly).

Creep – Radiohead

“But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.”


Mr. Jones – Counting Crows

“Mr. Jones and me look into the future
Stare at the beautiful women.”


Waterfalls – TLC

“I’ve seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone
Leavin’ a trace of not one God-given ray.”


Hook – Blues Traveler

“It doesn’t matter what I say,
So long as I sing with inflection.
That makes you feel that I’ll convey
Some inner-truth of vast reflection…
But I’ve said nothing so far.”


Friends in Low Places – Garth Brooks

“Blame it all on my roots,
I showed up in boots,
And ruined your black-tie affair.”


Bye Bye Bye – N’SYNC

“Don’t want to be a fool for you
Just another player in this game for two.”




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  1. -2

    Obama won the first election because he is black, the second because america is lazy. if you censor this fuck you TFM. Dorn’s columns can be good from time to time. All of bacon’s columns suck. TFM. Fuck you Obama. TFM. Hot piece is a huge slut but judging from her picture I would fuck her. tfm. I am going to cum on my girlfriends face now.

    ^ ThisTake a lapLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 years ago