The AP Just Dropped Its Top 100 College Football Programs Of All Time, Makes Me Irrationally Angry

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Nice Move

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After Colin Cowherd spent an entire segment talking tiers like a bottom-feeding boner on an anonymous Greek rank message board trying to fill dead Summer air, the Associated Press has taken the historical college football polls a step further and released their own top 100 teams of all time.

WARNING: This trivial poll will leave you unreasonably irate. Maybe take this time to bolt down your laptop or make sure your phone is safely secured in a shock proof case. Now take a seat, finish any beverage currently in your mouth, and proceed with caution.

1. Ohio State
2. Oklahoma
3. Notre Dame
4. Alabama
5. USC
6. Nebraska
7. Michigan
8. Texas
9. Florida State
10. Florida
11. LSU
12. Penn State
13. Miami (FL)
14. Tennessee
15. Georgia
16. Auburn
17. UCLA
18. Texas A&M
19. Michigan State
20. Washington
21. Arkansas
22. Clemson
23. Pittsburgh
24. Wisconsin
25. Iowa
26. Georgia Tech
27. Colorado
28. Oregon
29. Ole Miss
30. Arizona State
31. Virginia Tech
32. Stanford
33. West Virginia
34. BYU
35. Missouri
36. Purdue
37. Minnesota
38. North Carolina
39. TCU
40. Maryland
41. Syracuse
42. Army
43. Oklahoma State
44. Kansas State
45. Cal
46. Mississippi State
47. Baylor
48. South Carolina
49. Houston
50. Northwestern
51. Illinois
52. Virginia
53. Duke
54. Arizona
55. SMU
56. NC State
57. Boston College
58. Texas Tech
59. Washington State
60. Navy
61. Boise State
62. Louisville
63. Kansas
64. Utah
65. Oregon State
66. Penn
67. Air Force
68. Kentucky
69. Rice
70. Tulane
71. Wyoming
72. Indiana, Fresno State, Southern Miss, Cornell
76. Toledo
77. Santa Clara, Tulsa, Colorado State
80. Wake Forest
81. Cincinnati, Miami (OH)
83. Fordham, Iowa State
85. Holy Cross
86. Rutgers
87. Dartmouth
88. East Carolina
89. Vanderbilt
90. Yale
91. Princeton, Marshall
93. Hawaii
94. USF
95. Villanova
96. Northern Illinois
97. Duquesne
98. Iowa Pre-Flight
99. Columbia, William & Mary, Nevada, Bowling Green

I’ll give you a moment to cool off.

Did your school not make the list? Oh, is it just me? I’m not mad. Not even a little bit. I mean who can forget powerhouse programs like Duquesne, Holy Cross, Santa Clara, and Bowling Green. They’re entirely deserving to be a top 100 program of all-time. Iowa Pre-Flight? Of course. Sure, they were only in existence for 3 years when about 7 teams were around, but fuck it, put ’em on. That’s totally fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.

I guess UCF having the best winning percentage in BCS bowl history isn’t enough (1.000). I guess that Fiesta Bowl title just doesn’t hold the same prestige that it used to. Thanks for that, Battlefrog. I guess producing the likes of Daunte Culpepper, Brandon Marshall, Matt Prater, and future greatest quarterback and dude to ever walk the planet, Blake Bortles, just doesn’t get you close to sniffing the top 100.

How many Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl wins do you have, Duquesne? I bet you don’t even know what a Beef ‘O’ Brady’s is. But I’m not mad. I’m not mad at all. Just like last year’s 0-12 season, it’s a minor setback for a major comeback. In Scott Frost we trust…until he bolts for Nebraska.

[via Associated Press]

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