The Best And Worst States For STDs

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I can proudly say I’ve never had an STD, but that’s only because I cannot so proudly say I’ve never had sex. As I’ve told you in the past, I’m abstinent. It may not be by choice, but still. I’m not having sex, and it’s been a godsend as far as keeping my willy squeaky clean goes. Granted, no girls have ever seen it and can’t vouch for its cleanliness (and probably won’t for a while, if this 21-year cold streak continues) but yeah. It’s still respectable. I think?

I’m so, so alone.

Whatever. Here’s the list of the best and worst states for STDs, with “best” meaning STDs are less prevalent and “worst” meaning they’re more prevalent.

From Fox News:

Best States for STDs

1. West Virginia
 (48th for chlamydia, 41st for gonorrhea, 49th for syphilis)
2. Maine
 (49th for chlamydia, 44th for gonorrhea, 43rd for syphilis)
3. Vermont
 (46th for chlamydia, 46th for gonorrhea, 44th for syphilis)
4. Utah 
(47th for chlamydia, 45th for gonorrhea, 42nd for syphilis)
5. Wyoming
 (37th for chlamydia, 50th for gonorrhea, 46th for syphilis)
6. Montana
 (35th for chlamydia, 48th for gonorrhea, 50th for syphilis)
7. Idaho 
(45th for chlamydia, 49th for gonorrhea, 38th for syphilis)
8. New Hampshire
 (50th for chlamydia, 47th for gonorrhea, 30th for syphilis)
9. Nebraska 
(38th for chlamydia, 32nd for gonorrhea, 48th for syphilis)
10. Minnesota
 (43rd for chlamydia, 36th for gonorrhea, 34th for syphilis)

Worst States for STDs

10. North Carolina 
(10th for chlamydia, 6th for gonorrhea, 24th for syphilis)
9. New York
 (11th for chlamydia, 16th for gonorrhea, 7th for syphilis)
8. Texas 
(13th for chlamydia, 13th for gonorrhea, 6th for syphilis)
7. Illinois 
(9th for chlamydia, 10th for gonorrhea, 8th for syphilis)
6. Arkansas
 (7th for chlamydia, 7th for gonorrhea, 9th for syphilis)
5. South Carolina
 (5th for chlamydia, 4th for gonorrhea, 13th for syphilis)
4. Alabama
 (3rd for chlamydia, 3rd for gonorrhea, 15th for syphilis)
3. Georgia 
(8th for chlamydia, 5th for gonorrhea, 1st for syphilis)
2. Mississippi
 (1st for chlamydia, 1st for gonorrhea, 11th for syphilis)
1. Louisiana 
(4th for chlamydia, 2nd for gonorrhea, 3rd for syphilis)

Louisiana seems pretty chock full of STDs, but Mississippi really got shorted here. Ranked first for chlamydia AND gonorrhea, they weren’t awarded the number one spot solely because of their lower–but still abysmal–eleventh seed for syphilis. Syphilis sufferers of Mississippi, you’ve really let your state down. If you cared about the pride of the great state of Mississippi, you’d have more sex. Who do you think you are, me?

[via Fox News]

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The DeVry Guy

The DeVry Guy (@DeVryGuy) is a contributing writer and former summer intern for Total Frat Move. He'll be the first to tell you when "it's a TFM," and his support for #KONY2013 is unwavering (even though it's 2014). He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in any sexual activity until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex. Email:TheDeVryGuyTFM@gmail.com

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  1. 71
    Roll_Tigers

    So what we learn from this is you can’t get STD’s from having sex with your sister, and Louisiana/Alabama rank exactly where everyone thought they would.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 6 months ago
  2. 32
    Tryhard Alert

    The 5 worst STD states are all in the top 6 for highest black percentage. The 10 best states for STDs are all more than 90 percent white. Just putting that out there

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 6 months ago
  3. 30
    Richard Head

    I would like to proudly accept the award for syphilis domination on behalf of Governor Nathan Deal and the entire state of Georgia. It’s been a long road filled with lots of hard work and even more fucking, but we did it. Thanks again, and Go Dawgs.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 6 months ago
  4. 15
    Fratman1869

    You could imply that as people have more sex, the more chances they’ll catch an STD, so this is kinda like a “Who gets the most tang” chart.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 6 months ago

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