The greatest holiday on planet earth, the 4th of July, is right around the corner, and lucky for you, I’ve got you covered with all the red, white, and blue apparel you will need to support this great country on that day.
Tanks, tees, hats, trunks — whether you’ll be whipping the boat on the lake or commandeering the grill in the backyard — everything you need to soak the hunnies and stick it to the commies can be found below.
ABRAHAM DRINKIN’ SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
“Four score and seven beers ago…”
ROWDY JESUS VINTAGE TEE
“Do you have ANY idea who my dad is?”
FUCK ISIS VINTAGE TEE
Uncle Sam is sending them a freedom rocket on this tee…and a few hundred freedom missiles elsewhere.
THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
Now all you need to do is find your Nancy in the streets, but Marilyn in the sheets.
REAGAN BUSH ’16 SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
Remember when America was great? It’s still pretty awesome, and it’s partly thanks to these guys. The only 3rd term we’d ever get behind, this is the campaign tee to end all campaign tees. Post #WriteInReagan on social media to show support for the kind of dynamic GOP duo you’d really like to see hit the ballot.
MAKE IT TRICKLE VINTAGE TEE
Peace Up, Trickle Down.
MO’ MONEY, LOW TAXES VINTAGE TEE
I got 99 problems, the IRS ain’t one.
LANDSLIDE SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
How we didn’t gift Minnesota to Canada after this one, we may never know.
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
A new take on a familiar classic. This National Anthem puts the “red” in red-blooded patriot.
THE THUNDER EAGLE TANK TOP
They made us edit out the bloody terrorist in this eagle’s mouth.
SPIRIT OF ’76 SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
The spirit of 76 smells way better than teen spirit.
THE AMERICAN FLAG TANK
Yep, this tank top is one giant American Flag.
AMERICAN TIE DYE TANK TOP
You could make this on your own…but what are you, a hipster?
ROWDY G DUB TANK TOP
Because what wouldn’t George do?
REAGAN BUSH ’84 TANK TOP
Over 30 years later, this is still one of the best campaign ads in history. Celebrate the GOP’s dynamic duo with this design.
USA STREAKING TANK TOP
These colors don’t run, but they streak with the best of them.
BACK TO BACK WORLD WAR CHAMPS SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
The design that started it all.
I’M SORRY SHORT SLEEVE POCKET TEE
You don’t have to apologize to us. We thought so, too.
AMERICAN FLAG TOASTING MAN VINTAGE TEE – ROYAL
Here’s to the good times. The old fashioned American kind of good times.
ROWDY REAGAN VINTAGE TEE
When Uncle Ron throws on the bandana, you know it’s about to go down.
FADED AMERICAN FLAG SWIM TRUNKS
A classic design with a faded look that gives Old Glory even more luster.
NATIONAL ANTHEM SWIM TRUNKS
Oh say can you see, these awesome fucking swim trunks?
USA STREAKING ROPE HAT
You NEED a rope hat somewhere in your closet.
TOP FLIGHT ALL-TWILL SNAPBACK HAT
Take your hat game to a revolutionary new level.