Fucking Bieber. He’s just the worst. I recently saw how he buddied up with Chris Brown. Apparently they’re pretty tight now, making them the douchiest duo in North American history. Luckily Bieber is Canadian, so we only have to claim half of this pair. Those two could suck the class right out of a Jay Gatsby black tie party. Talk about the shittiest role models a parent could ever want for their kids.
Back to Bieber. When he throws house parties, his guests are required to sign waivers that say, among other things, that they are not permitted to tweet, blog, text, ‘gram (filter or no filter), or divulge any information about the house, the guests, the party, or anything about what they witness while there.
The TMZ article also states that high-profile celebrities often use waivers similar to this one. I guess it makes some sense, considering the value of their personal brands and how monetarily catastrophic some dirt on them could be, but a $5 million penalty for violating it is a damn joke. Such a Bieber move. The Bieber waiver also includes language inferring that some downright dangerous and kinky shit will be going on up in there.
The document makes it clear … anyone who violates the terms of the waiver will automatically be on the hook for $5 million in damages.
And God knows what goes on inside, but the form warns there might be activities which are “potentially hazardous and you should not participate unless you are medically able and properly trained.”
And there’s more … The risks include “minor injuries to catastrophic injuries, including death.”
Biebs, listen here, bub. You wouldn’t be able to hold my Vine game down, man. You can try. You can take my phone, assign a team of security to me, lock me in the pantry, push me in the pool — whatever you gotta do, but I’m gonna find a way to Vine the fuuuuuck out of that party. Just blast it all over the damn internet. That’s a promise. Strippers doing coke off the dining room table? Boom, I’m Vining it. Balcony-to-terrace champagne pours with Cristal? You know it, all over that shit. Puff Daddy gets so hammered he forgets to pull his pants back up after taking a piss and he walks out into the living room with his crank out little-boy-at-the-urinal style? That’s definitely going viral.
You can’t stop my Vine game, Biebs. You can only hope to contain it.
Wanna sue me? Fuck it. Sue me. You can take what’s in my bank account and the keys to my car. Give it to your lawn guy or whatever you want to do with it. I won’t care. I’ll be internet famous, you little shit. Five million dollars…good one, Biebs.
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