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The Creepy Clown Epidemic Has Literally Forced McDonald’s To Stop Using Ronald McDonald

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I don’t care about Ronald McDonald one way or the other, though a clown is admittedly a weird thing to represent one of America’s largest and most internationally famous businesses. (And also seems like the go-to sheep’s clothing for 1980s pedophiles.) It’s a wonder our society doesn’t come off as much, much creepier to the rest of the world with Ronald McDonald as such a visible and highly recognizable symbol associated with America. Objectively, stepping outside of being an American for a second, if a clown were one of the most prominent symbols of the society that culturally, economically, and militarily dominated the world I lived in, I would deeply distrust those people. I would actively work to undermine those lunatics. God I hope that means Vladimir Putin was once molested by a clown.

Though any sane person wouldn’t equate mentally unstable kids wearing clown masks and wandering out of roadside forests while holding farm equipment in the middle of the night with a friendly cartoon clown who serves hamburgers, to get out ahead of the inevitability that someone becomes offended by their clown mascot, McDonald’s has decided to keep Ronald McDonald on the D-L for a while.

McDonald’s says Ronald McDonald is keeping a low profile with reports of creepy clown sightings on the rise.

McDonald’s Corp. said Tuesday that it is being “thoughtful in respect to Ronald McDonald’s participation in community events” as a result of the “current climate around clown sightings in communities.” The company did not provide any other details about how often its red-haired mascot makes appearances, and how that will change.

I look forward to people eventually demanding that Burger King apologize to Native Americans and other people of color for using a mascot that draws inspiration from the European monarchies that colonized and enslaved countless cultures.

I regret writing that last paragraph, because I just helped some uninspired college sophomore figure out how to get called “brave” on social media.

[via Yahoo!]

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