The Cunt Renaissance

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The Cunt Renaissance

The DeVry Guy

I fully and completely respect Becca, the author of the now infamous sorority email, not for her genuine concern for the mentally-handicapped nor for her informative news flashes, but rather for her strength of will to casually drop that word which nowadays finds itself too often cast out of the public diction:

Cunt.

My first experience with the word was in second grade. My friend Jake turned to me during craft time in Ms. Roark’s class one day and dished out the catchphrase of the elementary school badass:

“Hey, do you want me to teach you a bad word?”

Jake’s mom let him watch South Park, so I knew this was the real deal. I gave him the go-ahead and he whispered the word into my ear.

“Cont,” he said.

My eighth birthday rolled around. After shaking all of my presents, I finally heard the sound I’d been waiting for: the muffled sound of little plastic foot destroyers hitting the inside of a box. I’d received my favorite toy: Legos. I unwrapped them, ready to pull a TFM by stopping my whole birthday party to build my Lego castle in front of my geed friends whose parents were so poor they could probably only afford Mega Blocks.

As I am examining my new acquisition, I am startled to see a certain word written on the box in big letters:

“Cont. 650 pieces”

Why was this bad word printed on a Lego box? I thought Legos were Swedish at the time and wondered if maybe it was just lost in translation.

Just kidding. I was fucking eight years old. I had no clue what the hell Sweden was. I barely knew who Jodie Sweetin was even though I had just popped my first boner to her while watching Full House a few weeks prior.

“Mom,” I asked, “why is there a bad word on the Lego box???”

“DeVry Guy, you fucking moron,” she replied (my mom hates me), “cont is not a bad word. The bad word is cunt, and you should never say it.”

Looking back on it, I wish I had asked her why I could I never say it.

As I’ve gotten older society has taught me that what my mom said was true. We live in a world where words like fuckstick, cockmeat, shitstain, and even doodoopuss are part of the common vernacular. But cunt is still a no-no.

You say cunt around a girl? They flip out. Girls act like it’s some sort of racial slur; like all females are members of some cunt race where they can say cunt but if I do I’m some sort of terrible, oppressive, misogynistic asshole.

You say cunt around a guy? “Dude, not cool,” they say. What the fuck do you have against the word, bub? Men nowadays just spew out nice-guy responses to other men that use the word cunt as a way to look chivalrous around girls. Didn’t anyone ever teach these freaks that girls love assholes? That’s why my icebreaker power move is dropping trou, spreading my fratcheeks, and letting the ladies take a gander at Ol’ Rusty.

I get it. There are bad words. Words society dictates that we cannot say under normal social circumstances. Cunt is one of them. But why is it THE bad word?

Pearls Hilton

First of all, DeVry, you’re fucking insane. That being said, I actually agree with you. I think people need to get over the whole “cunt” moment and just let it happen. The only reason people get SO offended by “cunt” is because they LET themselves get offended by cunt. I’m not sure anyone cares about the word “bitch” anymore, and that’s because it’s more common to refer to your friends as your bitches than as your ladies in waiting.

I, for one, LOVE the word CUNT. Love it, love it, love it. I love it as a noun, and I love putting it into adjective form (re: cunty). Recent punting aside, it’s been my favorite thing to call people for ages. It’s crude and it’s cutting, which are two very important characteristics of any pejorative. To me, a cunt is just a bitch that puts effort into making people hate her. Let’s see… Barbara Walters? Bitch. Ann Coulter? Cunt. See? It’s easy. I love throwing that word around, and I’m sick of people getting “offended” any time I use it to reference them.

Didn’t you assholes read Harry Potter? The only reason this word has any power is because YOU GIVE IT POWER. Just look at what happened with Lord Voldemort; everyone was sooooo afraid of using that motherfucker’s name that he ran with it and became the Dark Lord. It wasn’t until our boy HP (so frat) came along and used his name in a sentence on a daily basis that he took the power away from Voldemort.

I guess what I’m trying to say is the word “cunt” is the “Lord Voldemort” of the Muggle world. I wish people would just fucking realize that, and I wish my mom would realize that it’s NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL when I scream at her about what a cunt she’s being during our weekly phone call session. It’s half endearment and half truth. Move the fuck on. I’m going to blame Gloria Steinem or Oprah or Hilary Clinton or Ani DiFranco or whoever the hell made it okay for us to call guys “dicks” at free will but not allow the word “cunt” to be tossed around in such a cavalier manner. It’s a GREAT word.

That being said, I think we should probably outline the times when it’s acceptable to use the word cunt:

1. Days that end in “y”
2. In social settings
3. In your own mind
4. Out loud
5. When someone is being a real cunt
6. When the word “bitch” just won’t do
7. Always

The DeVry Guy

I couldn’t agree more, Pearls. Especially with that whole part about your mom being a cunt.

Ideally, everybody will start saying cunt so much that it loses its “baddest of the bad” status. Only then will we live in a more peaceful world. A world where all words carry equal weight and people aren’t so easily offended by something as trivial as the good ol’ See You Next Tuesday.

Good on you, Becca, for starting the cunt renaissance.

Everyone else, stop being such uptight cunts.

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