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The Dildo Is Mightier Than The Gun

Don’t bring a gun to a dildo fight. One man learned this lesson the hard way in California.

According to ABC News, a pair of female adult store employees fended off a would-be robber with nothing more than a few inches of hard, phallic rubber in hand.

The attempted robbery, caught on surveillance video, happened Wednesday around 9:45 p.m. just before closing at Lotions & Lace. A man walked in with his face covered pointing what appeared to be a gun. Store employee “Amy” said she wasn’t scared. She was convinced the gun was a fake and she was having none of it.

“With the gun, he walked in. I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us,” she said. “But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don’t have time for this.”

If this gun really was fake, this attempted delinquent is an even bigger idiot than we thought. Once you make that decision to commit a crime, you have to go all the way with it if you want to succeed. I’m not saying you need to shoot anybody — far from it — but the threat of danger has to at least be real in order to accomplish your ultimate goal. Rookie move (thankfully). My guess is adult stores deal with a lot of cash. Nobody wants that purchase coming up on a credit card statement. Not a rookie move from this asshole in that regard, at least.

One takeaway would be that maybe stricter gun control laws are finally paying fruition in the state of California. Don’t be surprised if this video resurfaces come next election cycle as exhibit A to help further new legislation. Want to start combating police brutality next? Replace those night sticks with dildos. Problem solved.

Honestly, I can’t get too hard on this guy for running out of the store without putting up much of a fight. I’d be much more scared of a dildo than a gun. At least with a gun it will all be over with quickly; a dildo is a prime tool for cruel and unusual punishment.

Kudos to these fine ladies for having the awareness to use their surroundings for self defense. The blonde knew exactly what pleasure toy she wanted in her hands if this was going to be it for her. Something tells me that would be an employee recommendation.

[via ABC 7]

Image via ABC 7

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LifeOfaReilly

If you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!

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