The ESPN SportsCenter Drinking Game

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For many of us, summer means a temporary separation from the fraternity lifestyle that we hold so dearly. Sure there are hometown bars to vanquish, and old high school slams to rekindle genitalia with, but some nights you just aren’t going to have shit to do. Without the convenience of pledge rides available at your every inebriated whim, going out every night is just not a possibility.

Fear not, for as you sit bored on the couch with a few hometown friends, you can make any hour of the day just a little bit more exciting with the SportsCenter drinking game. Sportscenter plays on ESPN a solid 18 of the 24 hour in a day, so odds are you’ll be able to play this literally whenever your little 80-proof heart desires.

Take a drink if…

-Lebron James’ 4th Quarter performance is mentioned
-Something extremely vulgar and disgusting from the Sandusky trial shows up on the ticker
-A hot blonde is hosting
-The “#1 Top Play” isn’t as cool as #2
-Rachel Nichols sounds constipated
-They show Peyton Manning at practice
-Anyone says the word “controversy”
-They show Andrew Luck with a dumb smile on his face

Chug your drink if…

-More than four diving pop-fly catches end up in the Top 10 Plays.
-A pro-athlete’s Tweets are shown on the air
-An Athlete got arrested that day
-A ridiculously over-inflated baseball contract got signed that day
-Soccer gets covered for more than four straight minutes
-They show an inspirational sports story involving sick or dying children

Take a shot if…

-They discuss if a new golfer is the “Next Tiger Woods”
-A “pros-and-cons of the BCS” argument erupts
-ESPN uses an obscure statistic to prove a point (ie: 3rd Quarter field goal percentage while shoes are untied)
-Tebow and Sanchez’ off the field relationship is mentioned
-Tebow’s romantic relationships are mentioned

Empty your entire liquor cabinet if…

-You see John Clayton’s ponytail
-Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless agree
-Rachel Nichols gets braces
-Tebow’s romantic relationship with Mark Sanchez is mentioned

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StuffFratPeopleLike

StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments. All shameless praise can be directed to: joe@grandex.co

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  1. 1
    ParPhive

    I feel like I see this type of shit every time I watch the show. I guess I’d be wasted every day, but what’s wrong with that?

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 0
    BamaForRomney

    So you were fucking with us? No ask the intern? Y’all, I’m beginning to wonder if were actually “axing da intern”. That would explain the laziness.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  3. 0
    Lynchem

    That’s dumb considering most baseball contracts now a days aren’t over inflated because of Billy Beane. Performance based contracts are the new A-Rod deals. Even though he has performance clauses built in. It should be over inflated basketball contracts.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 1
      Tits or GTFO

      ^^ Clearly you don’t know anything about baseball. Yeah Billy Beane and the perennial powerhouse known as the A’s set the standard for all front offices. Just because you saw Moneyball doesn’t mean you can talk baseball and contracts.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • -2
      Lynchem

      Nope now I’m Rick Santorum and y’all can lick my asshole, TFM turned into a try hards Bible and y’all are a joke. And as far as off season goes yes I did, do you look past signing bonuses or not?

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  4. 0
    Tallapoosa Snu

    I love ESPN’s obscure statistics… “And bob, that was the first time an American League 2nd baseman of mixed heritage over the age of 36 hit a home run of more than 407 feet to left field at Wrigley Field on an odd day of the month against a pitcher whose first name starts with a vowel and is shorter than 6’1″ with the wind coming from the east and the high temperature of the day being within 3 of 85 degrees since May 17th, 1923. We’ve really witnessed a piece of history here guys.”

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • 0
      ItJustComesFratural

      ^^ this is the funniest thing I have read on this site. I was just ranting about this to some guy in an airport bar the other day. Another classic was a while back when one of the commentators asked if the media focuses too much time on Tebow. I’m sorry SportsCenter, did you just ask yourself a question? The answer is yes you do because you force feed the country every detail about a shitty quarterbacks life. AND NO ONE CARES!

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
    • -1
      the fratness monster

      ^ Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I’d do anything to bone her.
      Harry: That’s a special feeling, Lloyd.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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