The Film Talladega Nights Is Coming To Life In St. Louis, A City Now Controlled By Stray Dogs

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Okay, St. Louis may not be completely controlled by vicious stray dogs. Not yet. Regardless, what’s presently happening in north St. Louis County is something that Ricky Bobby himself warned us of, and instead of listening, we laughed. The joke, however, is now on us, because it turns out the uprising has begun, and packs of stray dogs are beginning to take control of most of the major cities in North America, starting with the Gateway to the West.

From CBS St. Louis:

Dangerous dogs are becoming more of a problem in parts of north St. Louis County.

It’s so bad, some people say they’re afraid to go out for a morning jog.

Resident Carolyn Immer says she was attack and now has a hole in her leg.

Anyone who knows anything about north St. Louis County knows these probably aren’t Collies either. When a pack of malnourished Dobermans and pit bulls rounds the corner, you should pretty much resign yourself to death.

Another woman complained that she had called County Animal Control about a couple of pit bulls who followed her around outside, but nothing was done.

It must suck a lot to be taking a leisurely stroll through your neighborhood and then suddenly come to the Robert Muldoon-esque realization, “We’re being hunted.” At least the predators are pit bulls instead of velociraptors, that’s slightly better. Slightly.

The best part of the story though, by far, is St. Louis County Animal Control’s advice to north county residents.

At a town hall meeting Thursday evening, County Animal Control recommended people go out walking with an umbrella, a cane, or a stick.

Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah.

Tax dollars at work. Personally I like Cal Naughton Jr.’s meat trail/box trap idea way better.

[via CBS St. Louis]

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