The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

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Nice Move

Introduction

You’re not sure how it happened, but your chapter’s New Orleans Formal is just a few days away, and all of your date options have literally blown up in your face. Rebecca has a test on a Monday, Jill has her sorority Mom-Daughter weekend that she can’t skip. Even Sara, your “at-least-I’ll-get-laid” last resort has plans.

It’s a desperate time, but all hope is not lost. Your fraternity brothers have heard of your plight, and have offered to help set you up. You’re not really a fan of blind dates, but then again who the fuck really is? Sure, you can Facebook stalk the shit out of someone so that their mangled face or breathtaking hotness aren’t complete surprises, but other subtle character traits, like insanity, tend to be harder to recognize over the internet.

Your brothers have presented you with two options:

First, there’s the Top Tier Girl. She is gorgeous, and more importantly full-breasted, but you don’t know what this girl’s sexual attitude is quite like. Sure, her sorority is known for being a little snobby, and sometimes even prude, but maybe this girl is different? And either way, she’s still hot.

Your second date option is the Middle Tier Girl. Judging from her Facebook pictures she is a complete party animal, a total shitshow, and SaF. Sure she’s visually locked somewhere between the 6-7 range, but you’ve heard stories about this girl and you know that getting some action is more or less a sure thing.

Finally, you could always just stay home. Sure, you paid a lot of money for this formal trip, and skipping a visit to New Orleans would make you the ultimate pussy in the eyes of your brothers, but it’s not the end of the world.

So what’s it gonna be?

(Click your choice to continue)

TOP TIER GIRL

MIDDLE TIER GIRL

STAY HOME

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Nice Move

Bacon

Bacon is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. His fake best-selling novel series, The Frat Romance Novel, has been self-described as a "pioneering achievement in satirical erotica." Bacon is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

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  1. 1
    TrickleDown

    I won formal. Now that I have established my credibility, allow me to note that on an unrelated issue, Jeans are FaF. I’m sick of hearing this Jeans are NF shit. During the Cold War, Jeans were a symbol of Western decadence. The fucking Russians protested cause they wanted fucking blue jeans! It is representative of America’s dominance.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago
  2. 0
    Year Around Frat

    I won formal but didn’t get laid. And shit, I still don’t know what happened to my date. She was a bitch but it’s not like I wanted her to be sold into human trafficking.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 2 years ago

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