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The GOP Field: Real Time Frat Analysis

An in depth Real Time Frat Analysis of the remaining GOP contenders.

Rick Perry

 

You want to like what he’s bringing to the table. Exaggerated Texas accent, super cliché in normal conversations, shot a coyote while jogging… Looks decent on paper, but unfortunately, part of the process requires debates. Debates require talking. Talking requires a thought, which I believe requires synapses to fire in the brain. I’m not questioning his capacity, but I am questioning his ability to put together a coherent thought under pressure. He’s been reduced to piggybacking off of others’ responses during the debates. Seriously, he’ll just shout shit out to get some airtime. I respect that. Talking out of turn is an underrated frat move. I think most people subscribe to this rule: if when you talk during a debate, I have to turn away because I don’t like watching people poop their pants, I can’t support you. Look, sometimes you get in over your head, and Rick has found himself in this position. He’d be like the guy that gets appointed to an exec position just because everyone likes him. Good face guy, he means well, but there’s a good chance he’ll spray diarrhea all over the bed when shit gets real.

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