It’s painful to look back on all the great content we weren’t able to share with the world due to its graphic nature. Countless images and videos of college coeds baring it all and doing stuff to each other (or off of each other), incriminating evidence, and just downright life-ruining stuff is sent to us pretty regularly — all wasted because The Man would prefer that we keep our advertisers and social sharing channels happy with us rather than transform into an even lower brow smut blog that would slowly and surely shut off our revenue valve.
I get it. It’s just not as fun. The subject of this column, a picture that was submitted to us recently, certainly falls under the “Don’t fucking post it” umbrella, because it’s sexual in nature. It shows a fully naked young lady laying on her stomach. No tan lines. It also shows what is believed to be an illegal narcotic. A line of cocaine rests in the small of the young lady’s back, stretching to the most northern region of her butt crack.
On her butt, which is a damn fine one, might I add, the one-word question “FORMAL?” appears. F-O-R on her left cheek. M-A-L-? on her right.
The picture can be seen here. Side question: How mad are you that I made you read 200 words before getting to the actual picture?
“So tell me, asshole. How are you able to post the link to this ass-coke pic but you haven’t been able to share other similar ones in the past?” The truth is I might get in trouble for this one, but it was too good not to take a risk on. It also helps that the girl’s face is not visible, nor are any other identifiable features, sorority letters, school logos, etc. It’s as clean as dirty can get.
Leaving enough in frame to identify this girl is bad business, plus we don’t like fielding a million “Please remove…” emails. We don’t want to be responsible for ruining her future, nor do we want Suburbia, Georgia to lose a dad after hers eats a 12 gauge.
So anyway, what’s the story behind this picture? Let’s talk about it. There are some things that I feel need to be addressed.
Unless this girl is the most talented in-the-mirror ass scribe in the western hemisphere, she had a helper. This was a two-person job, and judging by the girly handwriting, this was a two-girl job. Now it’s a party.
I see you.
Is the cocaine real? Was it only placed there for the photo op, or did the guy being asked to formal get to take it down? Maybe the owner of that foot did? Just a lot of questions here.
And finally, he said yes, right?.