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The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimps Are Crushing The Gimmicky Minor League Baseball Promotion Game

jacksonville jumbo shrimp

Minor league baseball, the nation’s greatest institution for the average Joe, has had its fair share of fantastic promotions. However, Free Bat Day and Office Space Night are going to have to step aside and bear witness to a new champion courtesy of the superbly named Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. The Marlins Double A affiliate is preparing folks for their future with beer, baseball, and pregnancy tests.

From Miami Herald:

The Florida minor-league team will have two promotions: ‘Thirsty Thursday’ with beer priced at $1 for 12 ounces and $2 for 24 ounces and ‘You Might Be the Father’s Day,’ where free pregnancy tests will be handed out to fans who want them.

‘In honor of You Might Be The Father’s Day, the Jumbo Shrimp will be distributing pregnancy tests so you’ll know if you need to return for Sunday’s Father’s Day game… It will be an evening filled with suspense, intrigue and manila envelopes’ the team’s website read.

Not since GEICO released that kickass hump day camel commercial has a marketing team better understood the American populace. If you find out you’re going to be a father while at a minor league baseball game, what better way to celebrate than by going to another minor league baseball game a few days later? You just found out your life is over — may as well celebrate by watching a bunch of guys whose lives will never even get the chance to start play C+ baseball. Great way to turn one ticket sale into two.

If these strategic geniuses really want to take their Thirsty Thursday game to the next level, however, they need to think more short-term. Most folk who enjoy a ballpark Thirsty Thursday are either college students or postgrads who have neither the time nor money to take care of a child and thus are pretty keen on preventing their creation. A free dose of Plan B at the door might not be in the spirit of Father’s Day, but it would do a great job of easing post-sloppy Thirsty Thursday sex minds. Just a thought.

[via Miami Herald]

Image via YouTube

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.

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