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The Latest Gronk Video Is Weird As Hell

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The latest video of Rob Gronkowski is straight up bizarre. Everything about the short film noir is filled with what-the-fuckery. The highly sexual, disembodied voice speaking over slow-motion footage of Gronk stretching. The roman gladiator armor. The recordings of old school football games spliced with clips of Gronk running on a beach with ladies wearing bikini tops and “Get Gronk’d” bottoms (Okay, that part is actually kind of dope).

I don’t know, man. The whole thing is clearly geared for a female audience, but it gives me the heebie-jeebies. The article that the video accompanies, published in DuJour, is also pretty weird. It contains about two full paragraphs describing Gronk eating a steak, comparing the intensity with which he eats to his intensity on the field.

A massacre has just occurred at a ritzy restaurant in northern Miami. The assassin — a man-beast of 265 pounds with a tree-trunk-thick neck — is sawing mercilessly into the pile of bloody flesh.

*Shudders*

[via a href=”http://dujour.com/lifestyle/rob-gronkowski-patriots-pictures-interview/” target=”_blank”>DuJour]

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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